Really weird.

This is going 2 be a bit long even for me. Weird and long. You don't have 2 read. That's okay.

We listed our 2nd house last week - the one my SIL is living in, not paying rent, isn't a "tenant" or an "owner"... nearest I can figure is she's a died-in-the-wool freeloader.

So, we list it per the settlement agreement we came up with 2 months ago, and got tons of interest the first day. We've now got a serious, good offer on the house, and then 2day the lawyers started bandying numbers around about who's going 2 end up with what, and I see that my SIL thinks she's getting a lot more than my calculations would indicate. So, I've spent the whole day via emails and phone calls with the lawyer and the realtor, trying 2 figure out WTF my SIL is thinking and how we can accept the buyer's counter offer before she gets cold feet and backs out. Didn't get squat done at work, either.

Then, talked 2 my W about it on the phone this evening. Then let her talk 2 the lawyer herself (really, scream at him for going along with my SIL's lawyer's goofy mental mas2rbation), and think we have a plan, that requires some positive answers 2 difficult questions from our tax accountant and stuff...

but if it doesn't work out, my W suggested we file for DV and tie the house up in litigation for the divorce settlement so my W moves in the house WiTH the SIL and they drive each other nuts (or kill each other), with the goal of "winning" the fight with my SIL who has 2 have not only her own way, but everybody else's as well...

And you know? I think it's a pretty good fallback plan. And I told her so. But I didn't tell her that it doesn't bother me that we might end up DV'd at the end of the process. but it doesn't. Feels kinda good, ac2ally.

But maybe we won't end up there if the other ideas work out. I won't go in2 them in detail, except that we suspect my SIL is trying 2 pull a fast one on the IRS and we won't be party 2 that, which may force us in2 some backup plan where we DV or we sue my SIL...

-ol' 2long

The other weird thing that happened was while I was going 2 sleep last week.

I had an awesome sense of calm come over me. Hard 2 describe without giving the wrong impression, but it felt sort of fatalistic at the same time it felt good.

Like, I felt like I was 'done' with the lessons I've learned in life, as well as 'satisfied' with what I've been able 2 do for my family, particularly for my kids.

Like, if I were a religious man, it felt like a "take me now, Lord" kind of moment.

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal and don't want 2 die (if there is a Lord pondering whether 2 'take me now' or some other time). It just felt like if someone dropped a piano on my head or something, I'd have no regrets about the legacy I'd leave behind...

I still feel pretty neat.

-ol' 2long

And the other weird thing that happened is that my son got up at 6am on a Sunday and went with me 2 a Model A event in my Model A with me.

He had such a good time, we started working on my other Model A that afternoon, and had it pretty far apart 2 begin working on it in just about 4 hours.

We're going 2 work on it 2morrow (so long as I can keep the phone from ringing!), as I get every other friday off, and my W isn't here 2 give me honeydew assignments.

I told him I'd give him the car when we get it restored.

-ol' 2long

2L,

This is 2 weird. But, if you are comfortable, then you are heading where you should be heading. It is cool your son decided to work with you on the car. Got a feeling you will have him hooked before too long.

Take care and good luck,

JL

Your heart knows when to rest, even if your mind does not.

2Long:

Acceptance is 2 much.

However, Do what you gotta do with the house.

You get basis for what you pay SIL, if anything. (Also, the attorney's, etc) Less for the Taxman.

And (F)WS can hold on for the ride.

Not the MB Way, no POJA there. But she checked out on this.

And that seems to be the only thing the (F)WS respects from old 2long.

If there is a disputed amount, offer to put it in an escrow account so the house goes, but the cash is available to settle the dispute. Most cases this cash becomes the bank account for the attorneys, but whatever.

Do what you gotta do.

And ride/work with son on the Model A. How cool is that. A car with an engine you can see....

LG

>It just felt like if someone dropped a piano on my head or something, I'd have no regrets about the legacy I'd leave behind...


I've been feeling that way for awhile now too.

I think it's called......contentment....

It's kinda neat, imo.

I think Pep hit the nail on the head once again.

And it's awesome about your son and you connecting over the car. I can't wait till the kids are bigger. They already love "helping" daddy with the vehichles.

- Kimmy

2Long, are you just letting life HAPPEN to you, rather than making life happen? Because that is what it sounds like to your southern friend. If the thought of DVing your wife and living apart gives you such a sense of relief, what does that tell you? Sounds to me like your instincts are saying "OH BABY!! I like DAT!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sounds like a title for a movie........ but I think they already used it.

2, are you OK?

SS

Why would your SIL/tenant get anything if you sell it???

2Long - If you just listed it last week and already have an offer, the price is probably too low. I would ask more, and give SIL more to get rid of her.

Weird indeed.

I still don't get why your SIL would/should get anything either. Did you or your wife at some point verbally say that she was part owner or that it was gifted to her...was there ever an oral contract of any sort? It sounds so very odd....and your SIL sounds especially odd. Was it somehow implied by not forcing the rent issue? Did she have enforceable squatter's rights? It just doesn't make sense.

I hope it all turns out alright for you both. The DV idea seems weird too....although I understand how your W would have come up with it and that it would be an easy way out of both...a less painful DV... I would wonder if she would ever want to remarry you after that...it would be too convenient just to live together again then not have the same responsibilities of fidelity....at least in her WW mind.

Good Morning 2long...

Been a while since we "talked".

I understand your feeling of being at peace...contentment...."take me now"....whatever. I've been there, actually, I kinda get up that way every day now. The birds singing outside, my dogwood in full blossom. And...no talk of OM#(x) (where x = any real number > 1).

I'm not going to start to even think of offering advice (blad headed barber syndrome), but suffice it to say that this "other" Southern friend is glad you are doing well.

Georgia

Hi I'm just an occasional lurker on MB now but this experience interested me enough to come out of the woodwork.

In the midst of intense pain and turmoil and trouble, without any apparent reason or change in yourself or your situation, you suddenly felt calm? Suddenly the struggles and pain were, not gone, but -- engulfed, shall we say -- in acceptance (i.e. "it felt sort of fatalistic")? Even, deep down somewhere, a kind of still joy (i.e. "it felt good")?

If you don't mind some historical commentary from a religious man, this sounds exactly like what Christian mystics call "consulation without cause". It's rare but happens often enough to have a name. "Without cause" because it happens without the subject doing any spiritual activity like prayer or worship or seeking -- it just happens, Ka-Boom! and you feel better in the midst of misery.

We interpret it as a tiny flash from Heaven into this life. Sometimes our Creator lets one of His suffering, struggling creatures have a tiny glimpse of what it will feel like, on the last day, to hear Him say, "Well done, Thou good and faithful servant." To encourage us? To give a tiny rest when He sees that the struggle is going to be too much?

On the other hand, since you're not a religious man, you might prefer to say that it's a strange little trick of our nerves and synapses. A special and rare brain-wave pattern; an evolved resource that sometimes helps an organism in crisis.

Whatever explanation you prefer, it's a wonderful experience. It happened to me once. I'll never cease to be grateful for it as long as I live. (Or after, if my particular dogmatic beliefs are correct!)

Anyway, I hope that's an interesting or helpful perspective. I wish you all strength and comfort.

We can't get the Model A taken apart a whole lot more, before we're going 2 have 2 start putting it back 2gether again. My W said 2 me this afternoon: "If you guys get that thing restored by the pancake breakfast NEXT year, I'll ride with [son] and go with you."

We 2k that as a reasonable challenge.

-ol' 2long

Indeed.

-ol' 2long

Yes, I believe we will. Looks like we're going 2 have 2 put the sale on hold because the SIL is just starting 2 realize she's not going 2 get HALF what she thought she would, so she wants us 2 raise the price (I hate dealing with s2pid people - the MARKET determines the price, not the idiot!)

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And that takes only an hour or so 2 remove! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> 'course, now I gots 2 contact an engine rebuilder.

-ol' 2long

Yep. I still feel it, even though I heard some potentially devastating news 2day. What more could go "weird"?, you might ask? I'll tell in a bit.


I highly recommend Model As when they get older. Keep them stock, though. No hot rods. ol' 2long doesn't believe in butchering old cars.

I learned recently that someone has 2 unrestored Model B panel trucks for sale at a reasonable price. 2bad I have no room! DARN.

-ol' 2long

I know it sounds like that 2 many of you. However, it's not. I have many things I feel I must do before I'm finished with my contribution. But I'm still not disappointed with myself for doing the things I've done.


I think so. I will know a lot more in a few months, when we're hopefully done with the SIL (and the MIL, un42nately).

-ol' 2long

Yes, I believe I am fine.

than2ues,
-ol' 2long