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And have FAITH that He can heal your family too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I'm home now....alone for a while.
I assume The Harley's do phone counseling? I am in the Pacific Northwest...
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Nevermind, I just found it on the website..
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W2BF - When he gets "needy" again is when you will hear from him. When you run into a tough day, you will want to reach out and touch someone.
Let MB be your 24/7 "911" line for when you are in need. Refuse to answer any calls or emails from him.
This journey has just take a 1st step. There are many more steps yet to come....but the guide is faithful and true....follow Him.
God bless.
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God will allow you to be tested.
Never above what you are able to bear, but sometimes above what you choose to bear.
The test will begin soon. It will be much easier on you if you change A L L your contact info. Emails (including work email), phone numbers for cell and at home.....everything.
Block every avenue possible, and turn away from the first hint of temptation.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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W2BF, just butting in here for a second ... been following this thread and want you to know I am rooting for you.
rlt.
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Be aware....
OM may expose the continuation of the adultery to your husband ... in a vile effort to encourage your husband to divorce you
... usually women pull this trick, but long-term adulterous males (9 years) will sometimes make the call as well (usually anonymously or get a female friend to do it)
Be prepared with an instant mea culpa..... keep it in your "pocket" .... just in case....
Just a fair warning.
Pep
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She needs to expose this affair to her H immediately so that he has the truth and so he is not blindsided.
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.... which is only one of many reasons to self-expose to your BH, ASAP
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Pep, M may expose the continuation of the adultery to your husband ... in a vile effort to encourage your husband to divorce you I have thought of that, but don't think he will. If he does, then we deal with it. The only thing I have to my credit now is the no contact email and the fact that OM was dumped. H would have to look at the facts and make his decision. Thanks
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W2BF, just butting in here for a second ... been following this thread and want you to know I am rooting for you.
rlt. Thank you RLT
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yes, and the current fact is... you are still lying to him... you are still emotionally raping him every single time you touch him. I am rooting for you but you just did the EASY part of this... so it is not time to be patting yourself on the back. Now the tough part comes with giving your H the truth and doing anything less than that means you are still wayward and acting in a very un-Christian fashion.
I do hope you immediately get to the truth. You should not need anyone else... pastor or counselor.. to tell you that your H deserves the full truth about the woman he calls his wife. And he deserves it NOW.
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FH, but the guide is faithful and true....follow Him. I was sitting before the Lord last night, repenting, thanking Him for what he's done for me, for being faithfull and loving when I was not. When I opened my bible, I was looking for a certain scripture, but within 30 seconds I "happened" upon another scripture that jumped out at me, Romans 13:8-14. Main points: Owe no debt but love, awake from your sleep, cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts. How's that for correction and direction....
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Healing said the NC letter was actually for the BH, which was my understanding as well.
I cannot understand why the big hoorah over an NC letter that your BH did not approve of and send.
Where is the respect to him, by you sending it without his knowledge or approval?
To me it just seems like another dirty little secret between you and OM. A power play on your part would be the most negative way I would view it and an attempt that falls short of really coming clean as the most positive.
Of course I was once somebody's nasty little secret so maybe I am hyper sensitive to insincerety.
Time will tell though, and others here certainly sense sincerety. So maybe the first step, although out of proper sequence is still the first step.
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MEDC,
I totally hear everything you are saying. I would love to really start over, clean, with all lies out there and be able to rebuild on 100% truth. There is alot you just don't know about H, me or the dynamics of our life. I have done wrong, I will reap the consequences of that. However, when I'm told to prepare to go into hiding if I leave, it doesn't make for a good atmosphere to confess adultery in. I will trust that this will work out. I will be couseling with pastor, I will be on my face before God asking for His plan and protection.
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MEDC,
I totally hear everything you are saying. I would love to really start over, clean, with all lies out there and be able to rebuild on 100% truth. There is alot you just don't know about H, me or the dynamics of our life. I have done wrong, I will reap the consequences of that. However, when I'm told to prepare to go into hiding if I leave, it doesn't make for a good atmosphere to confess adultery in. I will trust that this will work out. I will be couseling with pastor, I will be on my face before God asking for His plan and protection. Whoa WTBF, "Counseling with pastor"???? Um, I was under the distinct impression that an appointment was being made with the pastor for both you and your husband so that you could confess to him in "safety"...What did I miss? You MUST tell your husband...NOW..."Counseling" will just be a bunch of "I'm really scared to tell hims" and that isn't productive for you and it is certainly unfair, not to mention cruel to your husband...Keeping your husband in the dark here is just plain WRONG and represents even more pain for him...NOBODY LIKES TO BE THE LAST TO KNOW IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT THEIR OWN LIFE...Do you understand how that will make your husband feel??? What that will do to him? I am beginning to wonder just how much of this "fear" is just a way to further delay what is uncomfortable for you...What gives? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Mrs.W,
I sent an email to pastor yesterday, pastor is out of town, I have not received a reply yet. When I said counseling, I meant meeting sometime soon, I hope tonight after church, but will have to wait and see when I/we can get an appt.
Everyone seems to question my "fear" as being a smoke screen or just an excuse. I know the facts, I've lived with them for 24 years. It doesn't matter that you believe me or not. I appreciate all the help I am getting, but there are some things that need to be handled a little differently. I did not say I would never tell him, I just need to get it done in a safe manner.
Thanks
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Good catch, Mrs. W, that just slipped right past me.
WTBF,
You never have had any intention of telling your BH, have you?
Has your pastor been counseling you or both you and your BH?
It's easier to point the finger at your BH b/c he has angry outbursts, than it is to point the finger back at you, and your choice to deceive him over and over again for 9 YEARS!!!
You need to find yourself a good IC...(not your pastor) and get yourself some real help here.
~ Marsh
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Marsh, Good catch, Mrs. W, that just slipped right past me. If you read my previous posts, I never said I have an appt, I said I sent an email and am waiting. You never have had any intention of telling your BH, have you? My first priority was to end it with OM, second priorit is getting counsel. Has your pastor been counseling you or both you and your BH? Pastor has seen us a few times, we then counseled with an elder, but H isn't real interesting in God and scripture is used alot, H basically tuned it out and won't go back. I started IC for several months (OM was not in the picture then) after several sessions it was time to bring H in, H came to one session and walked out towards the end, said he was not going back. The next day he mocked me about the session and my opening my heart to him when the wall had been up for many years. So, judge me if you want, post if you want or not, it's your choice.
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W2BF, although I haven't posted a lot with Mrs.W and MEDC, I have read a lot of their posts in the past year.
They know what they're doing, and are really trying to help you. Please don't be upset with them.
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