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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632 |
Wow, Believer, you said something to me about 5 days ago that has somehow just begun to penetrate my feeble mind. You said "sometimes the A has nothing to do with the M, but was rather something that was used to fill a void that existed."
I am beginning to see this as true. In spite of the fact that I can not come to a final conclusion as to "why" this A happened in the first place. My W has been unwilling to explore this issue, and it has been very fustrating. But your notion, has me thinking, perhaps, it had nothing to do with me. Am I pipedreaming here or could this possibly be true????
Thanks,
All Blessings,
Jerry
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819 |
There is an excellent chance it had little to do with you.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Frank Pittman says that affairs happen even in seemingly happy marriages.
Also I read an article the other day that said that people have a certain happiness quotient, and tend to remain that way for life. Even though my marriage wasn't the best, I was pretty content. I found the good things, and was thankful for them.
My ex was always looking for something, and still is. He had the affair, and that didn't satisfy his hunger. Now he is still unhappy, and I'm happy once again.
I think the WS really has some hard work to uncover what is missing in their life.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819 |
Pittman also says that romantic affairs happen more often in good marriages than bad ones. And that once the romantic affair starts, it is all temporary insanity until the affair dies out.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632 |
Thanks for the replie, I guess I have a lot more thinking to do...... OH JOY!!!! uuuuugh.
I think my mind is already completely burnt out on this after nearly 5 years!!
Thanks for your prospective, it's perhaps a new way for me to ponder things.
All Blessings,
Jerry
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
That's right. He suggests that the BS just go out and do something else for a few months, or however long it takes the affair to end.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
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Joined: Dec 2005
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I carry the quote in my wallet. Basically go do whatever it is that holds you together during this difficult time.
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