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#1855203 04/03/07 03:09 PM
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How did you figure out who she was and find this old thread?

series of things
plus I had time on my hands

1. asking specifically for FH seemed unusual, like there had been some prior communications

2. looked up all her previous posts (not many). One was very unusual, asking for 2scared. I got "a feeling" she seemed familiar.

3. searched 2scared, found all his old posts (the most recent one from 2004)
seemed weird to ask about a poster who had not posted for 3 years .... truthfully, I wondered if she was trying to find OM

4. read 2scared's posts, discovered he was not likely her OM .. read some of what other posters said to 2scared ... found a female WW poster with 2 sons and a 6 year affair that 2scared was helping (Waking Up)

5. looked up all of Waking Up's previous posts ... ONE of which was something like "Has anyone heard from 2scared" <~~~ identical to what was recently posted

6. read her story & what FH, & JL & I had posted to her ... found identical timeline and marriage issues "controlling" etc ...

BINGO

it took about 15 minutes once I got interested

It was HORRIBLE how one of her old threads got completely hijacked by the "Stanley & Myrta Show" ... embarrasing .... which is why I don't think she deserves ~any~ threadjacking right now ...

Pep

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Post deleted by Pepperband

Pepperband #1855205 04/03/07 03:22 PM
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Wow, only 15 mins!

I'm looking for a better word than "impressed" to describe what I think of you putting all that together.

Thanks for sharing w/ me how you did it.

I'm still left wondering WTH she wants.

~ Marsh

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I donno what she wants or what she is capable of ... but she just is soooooooo

S A D

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Pepperband #1855207 04/03/07 03:31 PM
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Sadness isn't speaking to me as loudly as bewilderment is.

I think your link needs to be fixed.

~ Marsh

Pepperband #1855208 04/03/07 03:33 PM
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Pep:

In many ways, she's like my W. I still can't be 100% certain that there's NC over here. There is plenty of evidence that she believes there's no A and that she wants 2 stay M'd, but there's also plenty of evidence that she'd like 2 at least hang on 2 the "fond memories".

I would think that her BH would know by now how 2 recognize the signs she's emanating, that she herself is oblivious 2.

This kind of sad, protracted si2ation makes for a very mediocre marriage, believe me.

But if her BH is anything like me, he's focusing his affections on interacting with his sons. Until his W finally "wakes up", perhaps. I know mine has the capacity, and I'd like 2 believe I'd recognize it when I see it. Maybe her BH is "working" in a similar manner.

-ol' 2long

2long #1855209 04/03/07 03:44 PM
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Holy Smokes Pep,

I went and read the first page of her post and I do remember this woman. I guess we never go through to her then. Perhaps FH can. I haven't gone back to read her old thread or this one, but maybe when I finish work I will.

Weird, and very very sad. Pep ever year you post here I am more and more impressed with you.

God Bless,

JL

Pepperband #1855210 04/03/07 03:53 PM
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Pep, your link keeps bringing me to the page to "Search results for query: Ken313" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

~ Marsh

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Pep, your link keeps bringing me to the page to "Search results for query: Ken313" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

~ Marsh

ha ha

what it is...

I searched WakingUp ... and clicked "show all recent posts" ... it is that list ... I guess it will not show that to YOU because it is a search ... the link works JUST FINE for ~me~

but only me ... so I deleted

hee hee

Last edited by Pepperband; 04/03/07 04:54 PM.
Pepperband #1855212 04/03/07 04:55 PM
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Quote

Pep, your link keeps bringing me to the page to "Search results for query: Ken313" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

~ Marsh

ha ha

what it is...

I searched WakingUp ... and clicked "show all recent posts" ... it is that list ... I guess it will not show that to YOU because it is a search ... the like works JUST FINE for ~me~

hee hee

LOL

So it showed me, my last search...which was for Ken313.

Trippy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

LMAO!

~ Marsh

Pepperband #1855213 04/03/07 05:01 PM
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Pep,

I see you now know the Knows.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Mark

Mark1952 #1855214 04/03/07 05:12 PM
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Pep,

I see you now know the Knows.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Mark

I KNOW ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Pepperband #1855215 04/03/07 05:45 PM
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LOL...When I click on Pep's link, this is what it says...

"We cannot proceed.

You must be logged in to use the search engine.

Please use your back button to return to the previous page."

GO FIGURE!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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I kept checking the link when Marsh complained about it ... and the link worked FOR ME everytime <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So, youse guys gosta look it up fer yerselves .... capish?

Pepperband #1855217 04/04/07 07:14 AM
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Reminds me of someone I used to know. Someone who left a heck of a lot of pain and confusion in his wake to several families, including mine. Someone who always comes up smelling like a rose, especially when he gets the opportunity to mouth his "poor me, I am the victim" lies. Even his bio children (I'm pretty sure all his step-children over the years see him for the creep he is) and mom covering for his lies.

Trouble is they really believe the lies they speak. They really believe they are the victim. And they'll have everyone else believing it as well...and if not, no matter they can find many others who will. And then they'll bring out the "I feel so guilty, I feel so bad" card. More lies, because if this were really the truth they would be on their knees in shame, confessing to their spouse and taking whatever the fallout was, even it was getting sent to the curb.

It all sounds like blah, blah, blah to me after the first paragraph or two.

And then I think of Appy and others like him who have lived it as well, been on the receiving end and well, it's sad all right, but for the real victims. The ones who have to stay married because of their religious beliefs and family responsibility.

weaver #1855218 04/04/07 07:22 AM
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Some of my favorite people are FWS's on this board, many in fact. And I would trust them until the end of time. Too many to name here.

Every once in awhile someone comes along who makes my skin crawl though.

weaver #1855219 04/04/07 02:07 PM
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Trouble is they really believe the lies they speak. They really believe they are the victim


I think this might be the case w/ her too.

The thing that leaves my head spinning is that she seems to be in the exact same spot today, that she was three years ago...asking the same questions.

How is that possible?

Did she fall into a black hole?

Was she frozen in time?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

~ Marsh

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She is still trying to figure out what is in her best interest to do. Some people are just slow like that.

I hope I am not being too harsh... or really I hope I am being too harsh...and that I am wrong.

weaver #1855221 04/04/07 02:21 PM
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People of the Lie sez:

Beware of those who do not inventory themselves ... ever.

Pepperband #1855222 04/05/07 10:48 AM
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[color:"blue"]WEAVER [/color]

you said:

Quote
Healing said the NC letter was actually for the BH, which was my understanding as well.

I cannot understand why the big hoorah over an NC letter that your BH did not approve of and send.

Where is the respect to him, by you sending it without his knowledge or approval?


Yeppers ... premature celebrations and congratulations ....

Like telling the bankrobber

[color:"red"] GOOD for you ... you did not rob a bank TODAY![/color]

This is MORE than stopping a bad habit (like smoking or boozing). Where it would be appropriate to say "GOOD for you, 24 hours without a drink/smoke."

This is a "GOOD FOR YOU, YOU DID NOT RETURN YESTERDAY'S STOLEN MONIES, NOR DID YOU TELL THE BANK YOU HAVE THE STOLEN MONEY, BUT AT LEAST YOU DID NOT TAKE MORE MONEY TODAY."

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