Where is your wife until Saturday? Has she gone somewhere?

Did you tell her you won't be leaving your home to accommodate her visitation scheme?

Yes, you do that. Be as pleasant as possible without being clingy or unattractive.

yes I did. I dont think she comprehended that properly becuase she wanted to leave as "people" were waiting for her. she did sign a lease on the apartment-but she will have to move if that is what she wants. I am not swapping time there.

yes she has an extended stay place that she has been carrying to get away

p.s. just an fyi, an attorney's goal is always to faciliate an AMICABLE DIVORCE. Their goal is not to save the marriage, but to achieve an AMICABLE DIVORCE. Your atty might tell you not to do any exposures, not because of legal ramifications, but because it might upset ppl and make the divorce LESS amicable. It is usually a bad idea to get marriage advice from an atty. But there is no legal reason you can't expose the OM.

so a little complement here and there and small comments. like "looking cute today"
"wow! stunning look"
"I like your hair like this" etc. etc.

How long has she had this extended stay place? Do you have access to her credit cards online so you can see her expenditures? What about her cell phone bills?

please give me an example of being clingy and unattractive-what comments will make her think that

about two weeks. why do I need credit card biils? and cell phone bill? am I trying to find the OM?

I wonder how long she has had the extended stay place. Or if she has rented any hotel rooms. Have you seen her cc bills? What kind of snooping have you been doing all this time?

That is really odd that she needs a hotel room when the OM is single. I smell a rat in the woodpile here. How do you know he is single?

I am actually not 100% confident-she told me that he is single. I have all the proof that I need on who he is and their communication so I am not too concerned with getting hotel bills etc. I have what I need

here is the question. if i sent her a text tonight or tomorrow to come meet me for coffe--will that come across clingy??
she loves this guy too much--very upsetting

Can you find out if he is married and who his parents are? A PI could find this all out for you pretty quick. I smell something funny here. What proof do you have exactly? Have you looked at her cc bills to see what she is doing? I am not doubting there is an affair, I doubt he is single. And you need his wife's name, if any, and his parents names.

Go over to zabasearch and www.peoplefinder. com and see what comes up. You may get the name of a wife.

What does he DO for a living?

the point of looking at the hotel bills is that I want to see how far back they go. What proof do you have exactly?

Is she paying for her hotel room with only her money? And continuing to pay her share of household bills?

She is INFATUATED with this guy. And do really believe this affair JUST STARTED and she feels that strongly about him? c'mon.

I have copy of emails. so in people finder one just pays for the check and you get full report. He is definitely single as some emails indicate that. he is at a managerial level in a big company. yes se is still paying her household bill share. please keep in mind that she made a lot more than I do and did. and she never liked that she supported me when I ws out of a job and also did not like how I handled the finances (I am working on fixing those but that will take time)

How would his emails indicate his marital status? You mean, from what HE SAYS?

In people finder, you can look ppl up with out paying.

he is at a visible position in the company so lying or hiding being married is almost impossible.

also people finder is asking for money. I mean it finds the name and location and after that it is money. Free information is just the name location

should I text her tonight or tomorrow to say something cute or ask her to meet me tomorrow

oh ok, gotcha! Sometimes it will give a list of relatives for free and that is what I was hoping for.

Thanks for clarifying about the OM. Then if he is single, I bet she moved out because he told her he wouldn't see her if she was still with you. That might BOTHER HIM to date a married woman. That usually means she told him yall were moving towards an "amicable divorce" and everything was over. Therefore, it is AOK to date! See the strategy here?

Have you spoken to the OM yourself? Sometimes it is death to the affair to actually speak to the affair partner and tell him you love your W and are trying to save your marriage. We have had affairs end THAT DAY from this. Steve Harley once counseled a board member to confront the OM so he could put a face to the name and ask him what his intentions were for his wife. It shook the OM up so bad that he dumped her!

I think it might be a good idea!