My wife and I have been married for 15 years and we have two children ages 13 and 10. We have been through a lot in our marriage but have continued to make it work throughout the years until recently.

I just found out about two weeks ago that my wife has been having an emotional affair with OM online that lives more than 3000 miles away. This OM is married and has three kids but his wife does not know about this affair. My wife tells me that he is in love hith her but she is not sure if she is in love with him or if it's just a nice fantasy that she is enjoying. She tells me that she loves me but she is not in love with me! She said that she would stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids but couldn't promise anything after they are gone.

I know where she is coming from because I went through something similar 6 years ago but without any emotional connection or an affair with anyone. She gave me space for over a year and I eventually grew back to be in love with her. I thought things were fine but then this happened.

I told her that if we are to make our marriage work she would need to stop talking and communicating with him. She says that its not that easy and that she can't turn her emotions off.

My question is do I continue to push her to stop talking with him and work on our marriage or do I have to let her go do her thing and hope that she sees the light. She will not give thought to using the techniques found on this web page because I feel she is too overwhelmed with the excitment of the emmotional affair and feels that she could not fall back in love with me. Please help!!

Your instincts are on the mark. EA's are dangereous, and any feeling she has for him are at your expense.

Purchase and read "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Willard Harley. He is the founder of this site, and specializes in counseling people impacted by adultry.

You might want to copy/paste your original post over on the General Questions II board, as it is much busier than this one, and you'll get more responses.

Read all you can from this website until you get the book. All the advice you get on these forums will be based on the Marriage Builder's philosophy. Trust what you read and hear, as it's the best PLAN you can have to combat this alien creature that your WW's become.

Best wishes,
SD

SD,

Thanks for your post!! I will take your advice and post over on the general questions II board. I have the book "Surviving an Affair" on the way!! The support on this web page is just awesome!! I don't know where I would be with out it!! Thanks again for your input!

Wthrbf