I called my H today to see when we could get together to talk. He acted like I'm the one who wants to talk and its a big inconvenience to him. He's well enough to go to work, but doesn't know if he'll feel well enough to talk tonight. Too busy to have lunch or even go for a cup of coffee with me. <P>I feel like he's playing games with my head and my heart and I'm fed up!!! I was really working on letting go and accepting the divorce. Now I'm back in limbo-land. I'm just so sick of these hints and innuendos! I'm starting to suspect that this is right where he wants me. As soon as I started to get to another place, he reels me back in. Not enough to fix our marriage, of course. Just enough to keep me where he wants me while he has his freedom. AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!

Sadly, you are probibly right, although he may not even know that he is doing this or why, so accusing him of this would be fruitless.<P>Since you really no nothing else...live as if he was proceeding with the divorce at least in your dealings with him.<P>He is probibly more comfortable leaving you in limbo if he feels you are pursuing him in any way (like asking him to talk)<P>Go ahead, rearrange that furniture, make some plans, square those shoulders and look determined and resolved in addition to open and caring.<P>The less you look sad around him, the more you act like you are not waiting around for him, the faster he ready to talk.<P>Whenever he does talk, put those listening ears on and be ready with hmmm, oh, and I'll have to think about that.<P>Best of luck!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Annie - I'm glad you posted - I was thinking of you today and wondering whether you and H talked. I am so sorry you are not feeling optomistic, and understandably so. You said H had the flu so maybe he really is feeling so bad he can only make it through the day at work. I can imagine how anxious you are to get a dialogue going! - been there. I don't know alot about your H's past behavior but I know my H when he was in that push/pull after he'd initiated divorce but then kind of raised hopes he might be willing to work on our marriage took only baby steps (like the kind of comment your H made the other night) for some time. However, I learned later that while he was doing this baby step tease thing his thing with the ow escallated too-he's never provided a satisfactory explanation for that so I've had to let it go. It was torture getting hopes up and being disappointed over and over. I just tried to maintain, be kind but not anxious or needy and he eventually came around. I tried my hardest to do my crying when he wasn't around and to show how strong I was. I sure hope that's what's going on here or he is just feeling really ill and cranky. Please don't jump to conclusions just yet.

Annie -<P>Welcome to the land of Whack-A-Doodle!!!<P>Buckle up because it's been my experience that this goes on for awhile!!! <P>Hope it's different for you....<P>Take FHL's advice and try to keep yourself as steady as possible - at least with your actions and words to him.<P>Your thoughts, well - that's the toughest part to keep under control.<P>Big Hugs,<P>Sheba