I have been posting for awhile here, mostly on the emotional needs section, but i guess this forum is more active so I REALLY NEED HELP! To put it as briefly as possible ( you can search my old posts for all info) but anyways, I have been married 5 1/2 yrs, its always been rocky looking back now. Mainly H lies and flirts and then does stupid things such as getting womens phone #, actually meeting an old online GF and keepng in touch for over 2 yrs behind my back & more of the same behind my back stuff etc..well the latest is that we moved to Illinois last year, he had to go back to Fl to get the rest of our stuff, I stayed here. He made 3 of these trips. Last week I was going to visit my son and was using one of the suitcases H used to go to Fl last August and I found a note with a womans name , phone number and the message " call me I like to meet new people". I confronted H when I found the note. He acted like he didnt know anything about it and then I showed it to him and it was in his handwritting, finally he said it was a woman he was chatting with while waiting in line at a restaurant in FL and she gave him her phone #. He denies calling her, and says he doesnt know why he wrote it down. he was all apologetic but the fact remains, that once again he lied and did stuff behind my back. I left on my trip that same morning, so we couldnt get really into it, but i called the phone number several times, finally someone answered, It was this womans mother. Turns out the "woman" is only 19 yrs old. H told me , "oh she is about our age I guess, He is sooooo full of BS if he thinks a 19 yr old looks in her 40's!!! But anyways, the mother told me that the girl "PAM" was always in and out and that she couldnt tell me when i could call back to talk to her.
I have now been back from my trip ( I was gone 6 days) and for the last 3 days I have been trying to talk to H and get this out in the air..This morning we had a short talk, and he says "i may have a problem" I dont know why I do these things, I dont mean to hurt you, I have never had sex with any other woman..etc etc etc . But he has lied and done things with other women behind my back, but I have always caught him. he goes on to say that maybe he needs to feel sexy and good looking and maybe that when other women come on to him, he feels good looking. I told him that he was good looking and I think he is very sexy and that I tell him that all the time. He responds, well I dont feel that way, and I never have thought I was attractive. Damn!! So now what????? Do I have to put up with his flirting and lies and sneeking around with other women so he can feel "SEXY"????
I dont know what else to do. I love him but am tired of letting my guard down and then getting slapped in the face when I find that he has pulled another one of his little women scams.
He told me that he is going to get help and see whats wrong with him, he says he will get on here and see if someone can help him etc ...but I just dont know what to do.
He says he loves me and doesnt want out of the marriage..
please any advise????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
