Hi. I'm on here like most people. I have really screwed up. I cheated on my wife. Not once, but more than that. We are both in the Navy. Not that that is an excuse, but we're apart alot. I continued when I came home because I was not happy. When she told me that she wanted to end our marriage (we've been together for 11 years, married for 8). I was in shock. I panicked I thought about ending my life..I just dont want to go on without her as my wife...I know theres alot I have to fix with me, but she's my true love..I need help any suggestions?

First off ending your life will not save your marriage, so why even consider? You said you were in shock of her wanting to end the marriage? How do you think she feels for finding out you had affairs? One suggestion for you is to take your eyes off yourself and turn them toward your wife. Give her time to grieve through the pain of your betrayal. I'm not judging you because I have made the same dumb mistake you have made. I have been faithful in my marriage for 11 yrs until recently where I did not resist against the temptation of an affair. Instead of working on why I was not happy in my marriage, I complicated the situation by being unfaithful. I have not yet told my husband, but will. The reality is he may not want to keep me as his wife and this is something I have to accept. The same with you, you have to know there are consequences for everything that we do.

Hopeless,

I assume that your wife found out about one (or more affairs). First and foremost, YOU need to figure out WHY you had affairs. Your BW, if she is ever going to get past what you have dumped on her is going to need to understand the why as well.

Get a copy of Surviving an Affair and if she is willing, read it together. It will help you both understand what has happened and why.

You have a very long difficult road to follow to save your marriage. IMHO, you have already taken the 1st step by realizing that you don't really want a life without her in it.

Also, if she is willing, have her come to MB and post, there are many here who will help her deal with this. Unfortunately, you as a WS have no idea how much you have hurt her. If she decides to stay with you and try to recover, you need to do everything within your power to show her that you are sincere. Also, this is going to be very difficult and take years to recover from.

WHo