I have been married for 6 years now and it seems that it is at a point of disrepair. we have been on again and off again and this time we have been separated for a year now. I was told that the last time we we separated she we involved with someone and eventually became pregnant by him. The child is now almost two and I just found out about 6 months ago. We have one togheter that I know for a fact is mine. My question is that I have taken a lot of the blame for our marriage not working. The first couple of years were rough due to our age and the fact that the military really took a lot out of me and I just expected her to pick up my pieces but that I took onas my own and changed. Now the problem is that I have fallin in love with her again and want desperatley to become a couple and she says she does also but she is invlolved in her own life now and really does not have time for me. Since we live in two different states and I can not drive 600 miles every other day it is hard to make time togehter. I go out of my way to talk and communicate with her which in the past was the problem of me not doing. I feel that I have chaged in the way she has asked but now she does seem to want it. I have checked the phone records and she calls all of her friends we ever she can but only will call me every so often. I hate to feel like a stalker but I think I just need a little piece of mind to what I feel is going on. We have planned somewhat to move back together but whenever the dates are discussed she has other things come up which I can understand some. We agree that our son needs to finish kindergarden but after that it is clear to me she can move but she says that she wants to work ther some more. okay my question to all is that it has been over a year and I have waited and put my feelings on hold am I asking too much to get her back living with me as soon as possible? Does she seem to be dragging her feet? I already feel I know those answers but would like some input.

Yes, she's dragging her feet.

Is it possible you could move to her area? At least you'd be closer to your son. Even if you were still 100 miles a way, that would be a lot better.

How about meeting half way for weekends in various towns/places or can either of you afford that? I travel for business so 300 miles isn't a big deal to me - 4 hours each way - but would be hard for her with kids. My boy loves trips. In the back of her head she's wondering if it could work but when it comes to reality she might be gun shy, thus backing out. There are legal issues I"m sure since you have a child together. I've heard of couples hiring a mediator to help. Why was she able to leave the state if you have a child together to begin with, seems like the theme is of fathers making ex's stay in the state for custody reasons? Maybe she's stalling for legal reasons too? Did you leave or her?