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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1 |
i had a short affair while my husband and i were separated. he doesn't know. we are now going to counseling. if we work it out do i have to tell him?
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044 |
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Counseling is a waste of time if you aren't being honest.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715 |
I make it a personal point of NEVER agreeing with MEL and/or MEDC.
But they're both on the money. If you don't be honest, the rest of any relationship you have with him will be based on a lie. Counseling will be USELESS...because they won't be focusing on the real issues at hand. They won't have the knowledge they need to aim their work at the right problem(s). And the longer YOU keep this lie going, the harder it's going to be for YOU to bear.
You want to give your marriage a chance? Start by rebuilding it on honesty.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 177
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 177 |
He deserves to know, otherwise the basis of whatever you put back together would not be honest.
Just my two cents....
-------------------------
Married 10/2005
Together since 5/1999
Lived together for 5 years.
ME - 30
WW - 27
EA - Early December
D-Day - Jan. 5th 2007 and Feb 15th 2007.
Today - Waiting for pain to go away, knowing it takes action.....
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621 |
Not telling your H the whole truth makes you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, controlling and manipulative.
It also makes you a liar, at the most basic relationship level.
Is this who you are?
With prayers,
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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