WW suggested taking our kids to the beach this weekend for spring break, a last minute thing. I agreed, and we both agreed we're doing it for them, not necessarily for our R/M.

To my surprise, it turned out great! I put my best foot forward in courting her, never brought up our M or R at all, just had a nice time and felt that we reconnected. In the hotel room, we did share one bed while our kids slept in the other, and she allowed me to cuddle/"spoon" with her each morning, which made some major deposits into my love bank for sure! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When we got home, she was very receptive to my affection when it was time to part for the day. We kissed & hugged passionately. She then shared how great of a time she had w/ me, not w/ just our kids. She shared how the past weekend was exactly how she wished things were in our M, but that she also understands we can't live everyday "on vacation", that she understands the reality of what our day to day lives were like. Since she brought up M, I told her that I've learned a lot about how I took her for granted, and that I also really enjoyed the weekend, and just want to take things slow from here on out. I shared with her my reservations about failing her again as a husband, and getting hurt again. She was very receptive (wow!) and agreed we need to take things day by day. She said she hopes that the separation can help us enjoy each other more when we are together. She even joined me at church yesterday for Resurrection Sunday!

Again, I am guarding my heart, and am not getting my hopes up at all. But I am so glad to see my WW begin to warm up to me, and has given me the much needed motivation to continue w/ Plan A. I'm still not completely trusting her, am assuming she is still involved w/ some OM and not wanting to put all her eggs in OM's basket, and am continuing to move on w/ MY life and take control of the things that I can control. My expectations are still low, and if she does wake up one day and decides to become a part of my life again in a whole new M, then that will just be gravy!

Others out there in similar sitch's, hang in there! If you've made the committment to try to save your M, then hunker down and get w/ the MB program, there will be payoffs! Mine will hopefully result in a new M with my WW when/if she returns to being my W, but if she doesn't, then I will be satisfied that I tried my best to keep my family together, and the burden will be on her for breaking it up. I will move on, happy w/ myself, and be a better person with much more wisdom.

Thanks to all who prayed for me when I solicitated prayers for a good weekend in the prayer request forum, you know who you are! God Bless you!

congratulations <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Some small similarities between my and your situation... we recently took a weekend "family trip", also, and we got to sleep in the same bed. Sleeping curled up with her was certainly something I missed a lot.
At the end of it, she also made the statement that it was "for the kids". which made me a bit sad <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> But she also said that she enjoyed the trip. Sounds like yours definately did too!

I'm amazed that you two actually kissed... I haven't shared a kiss with my wife in a very long time now. I miss that very much. You're a lucky guy.

She allowed you? This was a deposit? I would say if that was one of your EN's and she initiated it would be a good but she just let you come close to her.

Let me ask you this as the devils advocate here. You are in a hotel room having a fairly good time. You wake up and decide to give it a shot to spoon. She tells you no move away. What would happen? You in not so good of a mood?

I don't no so maybe she chose the path of least resistence.

Either way it may be a deposit but IMVHO you are giving too much credit for this.

In my book that is called accepting crumbs.


She was receptive to you telling her you were a failure as a husband?

Then finally I read your original thread. You were not married.

You cheated on your girlfriend/fiancee. Either way it is not the same as cheating on your spouse.

She made a bad decesion independent of your bad decesion.

If everysingle person that had been a BS or been cheated on cheated back what would the infidelity rates be?

So in my book my FWW had an A. I do not have a built in excuse to have an A.

I have an excuse to get a D if I chose and IMVHO that is all I have.

I indeed initiated, but she didn't just lay there, she welcomed my cuddling. I don't think I'm giving her that much credit, I'm still assuming the worst things are going on behind my back, but this past weekend I finally got something in return for all the anguish I'm going through.

I expected her to reject my cuddling, as I have zero expectations from her, so I would have just shrugged it off if she would have rejected me. Yeah, it would have hurt, but I guess it's part of the grunt work of Plan A.



Hmm, I realize what that sounded like, and in my attempt to make my post short (they tend to be long), I didn't get my point across. She was overall receptive to the R & M statements I made, which I avoided all weekend, but only talked about briefly as she brought the subject up.



Yep, I came to that conclusion early on thank God, otherwise I wouldn't even be here and still be curled up in a corner beating myself up. In my 1st posting of my story, I still had questions on the reason for the affair, and my past is definitely relevant to my WW's mindset, but I understand it in no way justifies her horrible choice to pursue an A.