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Contacting the OW
#1857870 04/10/07 04:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1
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kiwimich
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kiwimich
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K Offline
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1
Has anyone contacted the OW and if so, what did you say, and did it have the effect you wanted?
Re: Contacting the OW
kiwimich #1857871 04/10/07 04:22 AM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 191
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myopia Offline
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myopia
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Posts: 191
I desperately wanted to tell her what i thought of her and her astounding behaviour but all advice was strictly to the contrary

.I wrote her a long letter which I showed to my h but did not send to her. Then I collected all her letters and photos which as a friend of the family she had sent to us both and I taped them all into a box and threw it into the garbage bin.
I would really have liked to have sent it to her at the time

I am very glad now that I stuck to NC
Re: Contacting the OW
kiwimich #1857872 04/10/07 05:08 AM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Orchid Offline
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Orchid
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Yep. I did. Can't say it was a good experience. I learned on the 1st call that the OW swore worse than a drunken sailor.

Think about your reason for contacting the OW. If it is to inform her, you'd better realize you can't teach, tell or warn an OW. They have no ears, only big mouths.

If it is to unload and vent, do so but keep your expectations low. OPs have a way of twisting the truth and can make an innocent BS look bad.

Not really worth it in the long run.

JMHO,
L.
Re: Contacting the OW
Orchid #1857873 04/10/07 06:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
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MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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Yes, I contacted the OW and the affair ENDED THAT DAY. My H had told her we were getting divorced and she was scandalized! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> that he would lie to her! [she was a married woman <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />]

Sometimes the OP has been lied to by the WS. Steve Harley has counseled members to contact the OP to shake them up so they can put a face to a name. Makes it much harder to destroy someone when you have looked in his face. Sometimes the OP would rather dump the WS than put up with the aggravation because they really just wanted some free and easy nooky and nothing more.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101

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