I have something against him.

No one should write things to a married person like what he is writing.

However, I think you did well. If you do ever hear from him again, take drastic steps. Besides having no manners, he thinks way too much of himself.

I am very glad you are doing well. Life has cycles, I know you will have hard times in the future. I am glad to see you include "God's grace" as part of your recipe for success. If you stay close to God, you will get through life in good shape. Tell your H hello for us, and wish him well. I admire how well he has done through all this.

God be with you.

SS

Thanks, I will do this! I admire too how well my hubby has done through everything - the court trial, 3-year unemployment etc. and I have the greatest respect for him for that. I think there are very, very few people out there who would have been able to handle it the way he did... He always stayed positive and trustful that things would have worked out well in the end...and his positive and optimistic nature always helped to have a calming effect on me, especially during the times things started to feel overwhelming for me.

Thanks for your good wishes Still Seeking. You are right that if one stays close to God, one will get through life in good shape… It’s so true. May God be with you too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Last month I posted the following:

I just want to update and share the good news that my H finally received a permanent job offer from the above company where he was previously interviewed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> The company originally wanted to appoint someone from the “affirmative action” group (due to government requirements), but no one of the “affirmative action” candidates were found suitable for the job.

My H will first need to work on 3 months probation, but that’s normal procedure. My H is still in the process of negotiating with the company on salary etc. and will probably start working there from the 1st of next month.

A person from the Human Resources Department informed my H last week that he is very fortunate and lucky to be offered this position since only 2 out of 100 vacant positions of this company around South Africa are filled with people who don’t belong to the “affirmative action” group. This is also true for many other companies around this country. What usually happens where companies fail to find suitable “affirmative action” candidates for posts (concerning job experience, education, ability to perform tasks etc.) is to - due to Government requirements - appoint such candidates who don’t fit the job requirements anyway (especially in managerial positions) and this then often lead to unproductively and many other major problems at companies. Therefore, this company who offered my H the job could have very easily decided to appoint some of the other unsuitable candidates too and then my H would have not been offered this opportunity. We are so grateful - prayers & thanks to God! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Congratulations Suzet and Mr. Suzet. I am so happy for you both. I know your H feels very proud. I wish you the best.

Suzet_

I'm okay with the first SMS message. I don't see the point of the second.

You are right. This guy is having a personal crisis and is now fixated on you as his messiah. If you keep sending him SMS's in response to his, he'll just keep on sending. You are giving him attention. Even negative attention is better than no attention. Just try to ignore a small child and you'll get my point.

You cannot help this man. You don't owe him anything. His problems are not yours. He is fishing. You are biting.

Get a new phone number. If you block his number, he'll just call from a new number.

Hi Pio, this whole incident with the ex-BF happened more than a month ago and I was not bothered by him again since then. Therefore, it wasn’t necessary for me to get another cell phone number. I originally wanted to ignore the 2nd sms but my H and I discussed it and decided that I needed to say to him in much clearer terms that I’m not interested (and never will be). Both of us think it was necessary and a good thing that I did it (especially since he has stopped to contact me). The reason I was posting to this thread now was because I send and update on other things previously and wanted to send another update on my H’s job situation and share the excellent news. The ex-BF incident isn’t even an issue to me anymore, but thanks for your POV anyway! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thank you so much DIG! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Suzet, that is such good news about your husband's job. Really pleased for you both. TT

Thanks TT. Hubby officially accepted the offer today and will start working there from next month. The salary my H will be earning is much less than what he's currently earning at the contract company, but he will have the security of a permanent job again with crucial benefits like pension fund etc. Now we can also start looking and planning again for in-vitro (ICSI) infertility treatment after my H's 3 months probation. If we'll decide to definitely go through with the treatment, we will probably not wait any longer than early next year... I'm turning 35 next year and my biological clock is ticking.

Er, ticking, or going off like Big Ben at High Noon? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good news on job offer.

Larry

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Hmmm…good question! But I think in my case it’s the former one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Seriously though…after me & hubby first discovered our serious infertility problem years ago it was a huge shock to both of us. We grieved for a long time and especially during the time all of our friends and family (of similar age) became pregnant and started to build families, it was very difficult. I think the most difficult time for us was when my much younger brother & his GF (now wife) became pregnant out of wedlock at a very young age. The pregnancy was totally unplanned, my parents were deeply disappointed and my brother & his GF’s circumstances weren’t of such to support a child financially or otherwise.

But…as time has passed and hubby & I learned to accept…we totally moved pass the “obsession” stage (if you understand what I mean). We started thinking that probably it will not be wise to bring a child in the world where his/her future will be uncertain (I’m referring to circumstances in my country) and that’s why we have not definitely decided on the treatment yet... More than 3 years ago (before my H lost his job and we were compelled to postpone the treatment) we definitely wanted to go trough with the treatment…we were almost in the process…but now…after so much time has passed and we became older…and totally adapted to our “childless” lifestyle…we’re starting to have some doubts.

If a “miracle” could happen today…and we could become pregnant without any treatment, it will indeed be a miracle (since we almost have zero percent chance to fall pregnant without ICSI) and in such a case we would know that it’s God will for us to have a child (since only He can make such a miracle happen). We are asking ourselves: If it’s really God’s will for us to have our own biological child, will He not make the “miracle” happen sometime without the difficult and extremely expensive treatment? Although we are at a point in our lives now where we will be able to accept a childless marriage…we don’t know if we will be able to accept the disappointment should we decide to go through with the treatment and it happen to be unsuccessful… Our biggest concern is that such treatment has a success rate of only 30% or below…but on the other side…maybe God do want us to go through this difficult path to conceive a child for one or other reason…and that’s what we don’t know…what is really HIS Will? And how does one know? It’s questions like this we’re sometimes struggling with.

Understand. Well, whatever you decide, I suspect it will be a POJA <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> All the best and hope for God's will.

Larry

I did see your post on how the two of you are doing. It is really good to see things getting better.

You know (by now) that life won't ever really be easy for very long. This life is not mean to be that way. However, it can be happy even in the midst of problems when your heart if turned to God, and when you live as Jesus taught.

May God grant you all the righteous desires of your heart.

SS

Thanks SS, your words are much appreciated.

God Bless.

Hi Suzet,

I'm so happy to hear things are going well! Congratulations to you and your husband.

I'm sorry I haven't been around... things with H and I are going so, so well, and sometimes being here makes me sad. I occassional stop by to offer advice, but I never seem to have additional insight that someone else hasn't provided!

Again, so happy for you and your H... God Bless.

Suzet

I pray that there is a child you could adopt and your husband's heart is melted by that child ... do you mind if I pray in that direction???

Oh good grief... I missed that last part of your post (that's what happens when you read through three pages at once!) I'm glad Pep's response woke me up.

Yes, what about adoption? Or even foster children? Have you both thought of that? H and I have talked about it. While we haven't tried to have children yet (we are still recovering) if time becomes a factor... or if we can't have children... we have thought about adopting.

If I remember....

Suzet's H was against adoption ... I am praying for his change of heart

If that's the case, I pray for the same as well...

Katie, it so great to hear from you! I’m so glad you and hubby are doing well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Katie and Pep, regarding the adoption:

Hubby is not against adoption at all. He absolutely loves and adores children (and children is crazy about him too!) and I know if it ever comes to it, he will be able to love & accept an adopted child just as much as his own (me too). However, our deepest & strongest heart desire is still to have our own biological child if possible…to see ourselves unified together in that child...to have that extension of ourselves genetically…to experience the wonder and miracle of it…does it make sense?

We have thought and talked about adoption…and we think if we try the infertility treatment and it’s unsuccessful, we might consider adoption as an alternative in future. The only problem is that since abortion has been legalized in my country a few years ago, there is a very long waiting list for the adoption of same-race children and because of the waiting list, it might take years to get the chance to adopt such a child.

Katie and Pep, I will appreciate if you can help us pray for God’s Will in this regard… Of course our strongest wish, desire and prayer at this stage is that He will make a miracle happen for us (a biological child), but if that’s not His Will, I’m sure He has something else in mind for us...

At the moment we are godparents for two children (friend’s child and my brother’s child). I also heard last week that my brother’s wife is pregnant again, so we will be the godparents for three children by the end of this year!

Thanks for the interest, concern and prayers from both of you...I appreciate it very much.

God Bless.