Owl, I think most WS's in A's and even when they get caught & confronted want to have their cake & eat it too e.g. they will neither choose the BS nor the OP - they want to have BOTH. As you has said, they will continue the status quo for as long as they can. Even Dr Harley says that after an A when the WS are pressured to end all contact with the OP and even if they choose the BS, WS's usually tries to still keep the OP in the loop somehow. That being said, I think very view WS's will actually leave the BS and give up the M to be with the OP if they are put under great pressure to make a final and clear choice between the BS and OP.

Like notonlywords, I also chose 100% equivocally to be with my H forever (till death do as part) the day we got married… I felt this way and this was my choice before, during and after my EA. The thought of leaving my H never crossed my mind at any stage during our M. However (as explained by notonlywords) my HEART was divided between my H and OM during and after the EA. I was in withdrawal for a very long time, but my heart felt no longer divided once the most intense withdrawal “pains” were over (which lasted a relatively long time too). Last year when I had the resumption, I was back in withdrawal and my heart felt divided again, but the withdrawal “pains” wasn’t so intense than the previous time and passed much quicker.