I'm reading SAA, and in addition to the MB articles here, I don't see anything from the Harleys themselves that advise to actively expose an ongoing affair. In fact, all I read Dr. Harley teaching the BS is to follow Plan A/B while waiting for the A to die naturally.

Where does the consensus here to take personal action in exposing affairs come from?

You are right - this site and Harley's books are inexplicably silent on exposure.

Dr Harley DOES talk about exposure a lot on his radio program though.

I think the infidelity FAQ's also refer to it as well.

Dr. Harley. He talks about it all the time. We learnt it from him!

I found this little hint to what he repeats on his radio show time and time again on the main website in the article titled "What is Plan A & Plan B":


"As it turns out, most affairs end within six months of their seeing the light of day (being revealed to their family and friends) , and almost all affairs end without leading to marriage......"

Here's a good thread 2334pem started after speaking with Dr. Harley on the radio show.

[color:"red"] [b]Exposure and NC[/b] [/color]

Ahh, that explains it! I have yet to listen to one of their radio shows, as the internet from my work blocks web streams. I'll have to start listening to the rebroadasts from home.

Registered 1/14/07 to seek ways to rebuild my trust in H.

(See sig line for other details)

Sought delayed exposure strategy 1/21/07 on GQII and got 1 response.

(Thanks Mel....she said to just pick up the phone and call but I was too embarrassed to ask "what do I say?" so I self exiled myself from posting to do some research.)

Sent email to what I thought was an MB staff email address and was surprised when someone replied immediately and signed it "Dr. Harley". I asked this 'staffer' to refer me to delayed exposure strategy resources, and the next response was signed "Dr. Willard F. Harley" cc'ed to a 'jharley'.

Mrs. Harley wrote and suggested I call the radio show which I did on Jan. 31. (They were intrigued that I had started a friendship with---and had tried to help--- OW starting on D Day #1....even sent a copy of HNHN with my H's handwritten NC letter 4 months after emailed NC letter, which OW later told me she thought I had orchestrated.)

On the Jan. 31 radio show, Dr. and Mrs. Harley told my H and me that if the A was ongoing, we needed to expose to OPS immediately. Since were were almost 6 months from apparent intact NC (and my H said he would "do anything to help me heal"), Dr. Harley said that exposure was optional and if we chose to do it, he suggested I tape this segment and send it to OW, telling her that she had a week to tell her H about A and that I would call him to confirm she had done it.

Dr. Harley said that the main reasons for delayed exposure for us were that it was the right thing to do, and it would give me another set of eyes to ensure my H and OW did not reconnect and produce a D Day #5. He also emphasized that OWH had a right to know. (Dr. H did email one reason NOT to expose so late after NC but I can't find his exact words at the moment.)

Ace

From what I'm reading, and especially from the forums, I'm planning to expose for the explicit purpose of breaking up what is at the minimum an EA. Thanks again for everyone's response in clarifying the weapon of exposure.