I am 21 years old my wife is 23 we dated for almost a year then got married. We have been married for almost 2 years now. She has always stayied in touch with her ex of 3 years. I never liked it and begged and threated and did everything I knew to do. She would so ok I want talk to him any more then I would see on her phone where she still did. I would ask her about it and she would say he just needed some advice. We went to were she was from about two weeks ago and went to a bar to hangout, i had to take a friend home and told her to call me when she left. 3 hours later i finally called and said i m somewhere else you sould come I told her no i dont know where i am and dont know how to get there and told her to come get me , she said ok i m on my way. 4 hours later she sent a message that said theres a roadblock still tring to come. tried to call and call did not here from her till next morning. For two weeks notthing was the same, I knew something had happened but did kow what to say. She came to me two nights ago and told me she slept with her ex. She cryied and did the whole nine yards. I was in shock did belive it and not sure if i still do. I love her more than anything and i really belive she loves and cares for me. She is in sales and travels 4 out of 5 days a week stating about 3 months ago it is a very demanding job and she stays stresssedd out over it. I am in school and only make a small portion to what she does. This put alot of pressure on her too. This has been so hard on us and is probably what let to this happeing. I cant tell my family becasue if thingswork out (if i choose that) i dont want them knowing for the rest of my life. I feel mad as ****** at times, then horrible, then scared, confused, then i feel like i can make it work and forgive and forget but i just dont know how, Then i feel like i just want to quit and move on. I cant get the images out of my head of them have sex. This has been the worst three days of my life. I just dont know what to do, or if things could ever be the same again. I want them to but dont know or think that they can. I know i am a very nice and very attractive guy .and could move on but i rally dont want to start all the way over. i hate going out to bars and tring to find the person i wnat to spend my live with. She is the one I wanted my children with and to grow old with. She swears that it would never happen again and that she doesnt see how she could ever forgive herself. She said that she feels that she should be punished and that she doesnt deserve me and that i sould get someone who wouldnt hurt me like that. all she keep saying is how sorry she is and that she wishes that she could take my pain away. I cant sleep at night because of the thoughts and images i have i cant eat becasue i will throw up. how many people go though this and then there lives go back to normal is it possible for me to forget this what do i do. Some one please help me im at the lowest point at me life. I feel alone lost tried to go to a friends house and couldnt even say for more than a minute why? Please help me and soon

Timmy,

You need to calm down. Visit your doctor and get some Anti-Depressants. You can come through this. Many of us here have come through this and lived to tell the tale. There is a way THROUGH.

READ all the infidelity FAQ's on this site. Then on Monday Morning, call Marriage Builders and set up a counselling session with Steve Harley.

This site is not very busy on the weekends. If you want more replies immediately, try re-posting your post in the General Questions II section - it is much busier.

Also get hold of "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Surviving an Affair" from this site or amazon.com

It's not the end of your life or marriage.

Welcome to MB - it's a great place to be under these circumstances.

Sorry this is happening to you. But you have found a great place.

Your marriage can go on and be better than ever before, but it will take work and sacrifices. How much longer do you have in school? The problem is that your wife should NOT be traveling away from you, since she has already had a one night stand.

She also needs to have no contact ever again with her ex.

The not sleeping, and not eating is part of what a betrayed spouse goes through. Anti-D's will help. But it still takes time to recover - plan on about 2 years.

Lots of folks here will tell you to forget her and divorce, since you have no children, and have been married such a short time.