I am 21 years old my wife is 23 we dated for almost a year then got married. We have been married for almost 2 years now. She has always stayied in touch with her ex of 3 years. I never liked it and begged and threated and did everything I knew to do. She would so ok I want talk to him any more then I would see on her phone where she still did. I would ask her about it and she would say he just needed some advice. We went to were she was from about two weeks ago and went to a bar to hangout, i had to take a friend home and told her to call me when she left. 3 hours later i finally called and said i m somewhere else you sould come I told her no i dont know where i am and dont know how to get there and told her to come get me , she said ok i m on my way. 4 hours later she sent a message that said theres a roadblock still tring to come. tried to call and call did not here from her till next morning. For two weeks notthing was the same, I knew something had happened but did kow what to say. She came to me two nights ago and told me she slept with her ex. She cryied and did the whole nine yards. I was in shock did belive it and not sure if i still do. I love her more than anything and i really belive she loves and cares for me. She is in sales and travels 4 out of 5 days a week stating about 3 months ago it is a very demanding job and she stays stresssedd out over it. I am in school and only make a small portion to what she does. This put alot of pressure on her too. This has been so hard on us and is probably what let to this happeing. I cant tell my family becasue if thingswork out (if i choose that) i dont want them knowing for the rest of my life. I feel mad as ****** at times, then horrible, then scared, confused, then i feel like i can make it work and forgive and forget but i just dont know how, Then i feel like i just want to quit and move on. I cant get the images out of my head of them have sex. This has been the worst three days of my life. I just dont know what to do, or if things could ever be the same again. I want them to but dont know or think that they can. I know i am a very nice and very attractive guy (was a model when we met) .and could move on but i rally dont want to start all the way over. i hate going out to bars and tring to find the person i wnat to spend my live with. She is the one I wanted my children with and to grow old with. She swears that it would never happen again and that she doesnt see how she could ever forgive herself. She said that she feels that she should be punished and that she doesnt deserve me and that i sould get someone who wouldnt hurt me like that. all she keep saying is how sorry she is and that she wishes that she could take my pain away. I cant sleep at night because of the thoughts and images i have i cant eat becasue i will throw up. how many people go though this and then there lives go back to normal is it possible for me to forget this what do i do. Some one please help me im at the lowest point at me life. I feel alone lost tried to go to a friends house and couldnt even say for more than a minute why? I m still at home should i leave and take some time or what Please help me and soon

I was in your shoes in my mid twenties...
Okay, first try and calm down. You have been injured beyond words and you need to know your reactions are normal.
I am assuming that yoiur wife is having no contact with him ever again??? If not,that needs to happen immediately.
YOu also need support in your life. Let some trusted family members know what has happened.
You guys need to find a marriage friendly counselor... and if you can afford it, I would set up a session with the Harley's.
I also think that it is VERY important that your wife change jobs immediately so that you two are able to sleep together every night. She needs to make every aspect of her life transparent.
I went through all the same symptoms you have described.
Seriously... make a decision to start taking immediate steps to get back on track for the rest of your life.
Start with the Harley's and go from there.
Many here have experienced your pain... we are all in your corner...have your wife come here and seek out help and understanding too.
OH... and do NOT leave your home.

MEDC

Some very good advice! Don't leave your home and sleep every night with your wife, holding her.. it will help banish all the bad thoughts in your head. She seems truly remorseful, but you do need to pursue counseling so that this never happens again. Have you thought of each filling out the emotional needs questionaire?