It's been awhile since I've posted because I'm trying to heal from the A, the soon-to-be finalized D and my WH who is still just as wayward as he was on d-day of last year. A friend of mine told me some very disturbing info of WH and OW. My friend was at an Easter service and saw OW get baptized with WH standing alongside her.

Hearing this story was a major trigger for me. What??? How can a WH be this wayward with the OW? How can the WH and OW live with themselves knowing how much sin they've committed. I was absolutely floored by the extent in which they have lied to themselves, to the church and to God.

How can a relationship begin with such a unsteady foundation?

it is surprising and i am sure upsetting.

i know for ow to be baptized in my church (which i don't think will happen as she is catholic and we are baptist) she would have to have a true commitment to christ, have to have accepted him as savior and asked forgiveness for sins.

now, it is a touchy sitch. my ex has come to church with the kids on occassion, the whole church completely aware of our sitch (he does not bring ow). my pastor is not fooled my ex at all. BUT, i do ask that we pray for him and ow at our prayer services. i think they need prayer for many reasons especially since they are around my kids.

i am sure a lot of it is for show. "hey, look at us, we know we did wrong and are repentant and are turning to God" or maybe they are just trying to make themselves feel better. or maybe, just maybe, they are trying to turn their lives around. the latter would be a nice thought.

but i know it hurts. if you can, remember though that christ doesn't want any of us to perish. i hope they truly are repentant and saved. BUT, if they are, then they should be coming to you and asking for your forgiveness and making it up to you.

ow actually did send me an apology email over christmas. did not mean much to me and she has yet to make it up to me for the pain she caused me and the kids.

it would be nice to believe they are changing thier lives, but so many times it is done just to make themselves feel better.

i offer you my hugs
mlhb

Thank you for your hugs, mlhb! I really need them today. Unfortunately, OW and WH are not repentant. In fact, WH hung up on me my last week when I called him regarding his tax info. Still perplexed by how fast he filed for D after I found out about the A, I asked him why he was moving forward so quickly with the finalization of our D. All he said was "I want to move on." Never has he expressed any remorse or any guilt for that matter. That is what saddens me the most. I let him live in his adulterous ways only to see that he's fallen further and further away from our M. I was praying that he'd come out of the fog talk and repent of the adultery but he's only ran in the other direction. It's as if the OW's baptism and their church-going activities makes up for their behavior. Honestly, how long do you think this can last? I am simply baffled, shocked and truly truly saddened to the core.

I continue to pray for my soon-to-be-ex but how much can one take?

i think you just have to move on with your life with god's help.

i pray for me ex and ow. i don't want him back. but i can't believe what he has become either. although i think the capacity for him to become what he has has always been there. he is a lot like his biological father and his brother. he never was, but as he has gotten older, he did fall far from that tree.

i just had to move on. become who i wanted to become. got more involved in church. and i accept the fact i may never get an apology or any acknowledgement of wrong doing. my ex doesn't think he has done anything wrong. he actually told me at one point "ow and i are good people" yea, ok.

you heal, you pray, you live your life, you move on.
that is what you have to do.
at this point you are better off with out him.

really, you are
mlhb

Thank you again for your kindness and compassion. I appreciate hearing that someone who can understand. I am meeting my WH tonight with much relunctance because I have tax docs I need to get from him. I hope that seeing him won't hinder my healing. I feel so weak next to him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I have reached out to my church and friends all whom have saved me from insanity. Thank you for your support. I really needed it at such a low point in my life.

church has literally been a "godsend" for me.
i had always wanted to be really involved but my ex did not. maybe at one very brief point he did, but that was a VERY long time ago.

now, i can be a big part of church and i love it. i am teaching sunday school to the teens, i do children's church, i sing, i am very involved. they are my family and my support and they are a great group of people. i am so thankful for them. they have never left my side.

and there are many others things i can do now that ex is gone too. things he never supported me in like going back to school and being with the kids more. all positives.

you will find positives, i promise you will, it will just take time.

if you like to read i suggest ANYTHING max lucado. i love that man. he will make you feel much better.

start with "facing your giants" by max lucado, great book.
mlhb

Call up their pastor and inform him that your WH and OW are living in sin. $10 says they stop going to church after that.

Ready,
God will not be mocked. So rest assure this 'baptism' was no real baptism at all. WH and OW can fool themselves, friends, pastor and church, but they will not fool God.

The OW in my story is now so proud of her new found 'faith', and my soon to be XH is so proud for 'sharing the gospel' with her (he was looking at becoming a pastor himself and our church wanted him to be). While I know that God doesn't want any to perish, and that we should indeed pray for the people that have caused us so much pain and truly desire their repentance and be ready to forgive (whether they ask for it or not), it helps me to understand that there will come a day when God will deliver His justice. He's always ready to forgive and He will always forgive...but he still demands justice.

I know how sickening this is and how much it hurts, but it has helped me to pray for freedom. And from experience, I can tell you that committing a day to fasting, on the few occasions I have done it in the last 2 months, has really helped. One was for the truth, which I received within a week (that OW did infact move to my country and was moved in with my WH) and then next was for freedom from this man so I could move on with my life.

Though today is a bad day for me as I'm filing for divorce in a few hours, God has done incredible things for me. By 'freedom' my prayer is that nothing WH or OW does or says will have any affect on me any longer. That is what I'm working towards. I mean REAL freedom. Where there is no pain from them anymore. That when I hear something about them I can shrug my shoulders and say 'that bears no affect on me anymore' and truly truly mean it.

Pray for that. Fast for that. You will be amazed one day when you realise that is exacly what you have. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm on my way. I pray that you will be too. You are the same age as me. We have a whole lifetime ahead to build a new life and find real happiness. It's coming your way!

another *cough* woundeerfull *cough* ADULTERY marriage in the making ... complete with *cough* God's *cough* blessing

I would seriously consider writing to the pastor of that church and tell the pastor EXACTLY what the whole the scoop is

adultery baptismal blessings <~~~ sounds like a wacky new coctail

*spit*

here's something for you:


** FORGIVENESS WITH HUMOR **



Toward the end of the Sunday service, the pastor asked, "How many of you are
willing to forgive your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The priest then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly Lady.

"Mrs. Jones?" "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any..." She replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety eight!" she replied.

"Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down to the front and tell us all,
how a person can live ninety eight years and not have an enemy in the
world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the
congregation and said:

"I outlived the bi**es!"

May you outlive yours....



Pep

Post deleted by mimi_here

While I don't quote scriptures a lot on MB....this one aptly comes to mind:

Matt 23:27 - 28 'Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you resemble whitewashed graves, which outwardly indeed appear beautiful but inside are full of dead men's bones and of every sort of uncleanness. In that way you also, outwardly indeed, appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.'

Now this was written to those who had high responsibilities and was suppose to answer to God. Yet look at where their conduct took them. A high fall indeed.

So the way of the WS and OP....they can try all they want to appear righteous but we all know....they stink!

L.

A big thank you to all of you who responded. Yesterday was undoubtably the darkest day of my life not only because I found out about OW and WH's spiritually confused baptism but WH walked out on me yesterday in the midst of exchanging tax return info and our final settlement papers. I had arranged to meet him at a coffee shop in hopes of having a civil conversation with him but he demanded my paperwork. When I told him that I'd like him to calm down and that I'd like to say a few words, he stormed out. What a coward! The past two weeks have been h*ll. He hung up on me last week and then walked out on me yesterday. It was God's strength that carried me through the frustration and weakness that I felt. Relunctantly, I called WH and asked him to come back so I could exchange papers with me. He said he didn't want to talk. I finally obliged.

Interesting how he's "supposed" to be this Christlike man yet he has done everything opposite of that since d-day. D-day changed everything. I mentioned the baptism of OW to WH yesterday and he wouldn't let me get a word in. His avoidant personality got the best of him yesterday and it hurt me deeply.

As for notifying the church, I did that a last summer but that was when OW and WH were just visitors. Given the recent baptism, I'm going to contact the church again. This is ridiculous. The church is well-known and for them to foster this type of environment is unacceptable.

Yes, I would like to pray for my freedom from WH. I pray that with the finalization of my D that I can find freedom from my past in order to grow. I pray for everyone on this site that has to endure so much pain and heartache. At some point, I know I will begin to grow and find a life of my own. Thank you again for comforting me.

It is only a matter of time before they implode, ready2wait.

But for you, seek happiness and joy. Don't allow yourself to spend too much time looking backwards once the divorce is final, okay? Spend your time envisioning your new life and all the joy it holds for you.

(((((ready2wait)))))

R2W,

How are you doing? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

yes, look forward and not back... it is in god's hands remember that. he is always in control.
i get frustrated too as i struggle financially and he lives with no financial worries as he and ow make good money. and then he has the nerve to try and pay me less child support by sending a letter of financial hardship to the support unit!! i sometimes worry and forget that god is in control.
my child support is currently on hold while they look into my case. so, i had no money this week at all and i got worried because bills were getting behind. but i must remember god is taking care of it. my church is helping me, my dad is, my bf....

so put it in god's hands. he will deal with them in his time dear.

mlhb

Oh mlhb, I am sorry to read your latest post. What is wrong with people anyway. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

(((((mlhb)))))