I am having frequent dreams about the WW. (like severial times a week) some good (recon) some not so good (no recon)...

Can other BS tell me if this is normal and if so how long it lasts.

Additionally I also wonder does the WW have dreams about the BS (me)

BS's (perferably FWWs) can you tell did you have dreams about the the BS when you were gone?

Tnx
Jim

jim, I'm a BS. When H was gone, I dreamt about him a lot, sometimes about OW, too. Horrible visions of them being intimate. But I didn't know what she looked like, in real life. I had one particular dream once that I was trying to reach for him, hold his hand. When I woke up, my hand was clenched ... empty. It was terrifying and sad, one of my lowest points. I could have died in the bed and not cared one hoot about it. I actually wished for it.

Sorry, that is soooo depressing.

From you sig line, it looks like things aren't going well for you. I am so sorry. Maybe it's for the best, though, if she is going to continue to hurt you.

I'll be watching on here to see what kind of responses you get. My guess would be, though, that FWS's are too entrenched in their A to have the slightest thoughts, let alone dreams, about us.

I'm a BS. I really don't dream about WW all that much, but when I do we are always still together and in my dreams the A never happened and things are just like they used to be.

and we usually have SF in my dreams.

I think it's b/c I still love her and I miss what we used to have and despite everything she's done and said I still want what I am dreaming about.

What sucks is that everyday those dreams become less and less likely. Everyday she tries to hurt me more and more.

So my feeling is that wether your dreams are good or bad they're not all that healthy. They represent what is causing you pain in reality. Either they remind you of what WS is doing or they make it hurt worse b/c you are reminded of what you used to have.

I wish I didn't dream about WW. I hate those dreams.

I have accepted the marrage is over at this point, I have no reason or indications to indicate otherwise.

She has been heading away from the M since last fall as fast as she can and it appears she still is...

Doing my best at picking myself up and getting on with living with out her...

Jim

I do occassionally have dreams about WS too, but the way she used to be, the W and not the WS. But lately, after I've made up my mind that I'm more or less done with the M, I've been having very good sleep the past few nights, don't even wake up in the middle of the night to use the loo like I used to.

bump
Curious about this too.

Jim,
I am a BS but I recall only one dream "related" to my situation. I was in a an apartment very similar to one I lived in in college, the layout in the dream was two bedrooms at each end and a family room that you pass through to get to each end and a kitchen that was accessed from the family room. The border between the kitchen and family room was a kind of bar height counter and a doorway, no door. So to go to one end from the other, you would walk through the family room right next to the doorway to the kitchen and the counter that opened into the kitchen.

So in my dream, I was naked and had wanted to get to the bathroom to get showered up and ready for work. The bathroom was at the opposite end of the apartment and I would have to pass through the family room area. However lurking in the kitchen was an ex-girlfriend of mine from high school. This girl represents selfishness, lying, callousness etc. to me, pretty much everything you want to avoid in a love interest. In my dream I have no desire to even see or speak to her much less be naked in front of her. So I am pacing in my room trying to figure out how to get past her to get the shower, anxiety building because I am going to be late for work. Finally I realize in the dream that if I want to get to work, I am just going to have to encounter her. I woke up right after the realization.

Being where I was, the symbolism was way too obvious to doubt what it was about, but it was very interesting how vivid and memorable the dream was and to me interesting that the XGF was the embodiment of "evil" in the dream despite never coming anywhere close to hurting as bad as Mrs GF did.

Jim,
I had frequent dreams about WH. Few were good, more were stemming from what could have been PTSD. I had dreams that WH was laughing at me, and would hold me under water or suffocate me with a pillow, or be with OW, and flaunt her in front of me. I did have a dream that WH moved OW in to my house and forced me to live with them.

VERY few happy dreams for me.

I think that it is completely normal that you are having these dreams. I never asked WH if he dreamt of me, so I don't know about that...

come on FWS, help us out...

Well according to my FWH during those days, his LIFE was a nightmare <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Here's an interesting one. I didn't think about it until I revisited this thread.

Wed night WW told me she had a dream about me and it wasn't good. She said in her dream she ran into somebody (can't remember who) and asked them how I was doing. They replied that I had a girlfriend named Melissa XXXX. She said she had a Cajun last name, but couldn't remember what it was.

I told her I didn't know any Melissa's with Cajun last names and I didn't have a girlfriend.

The next day it hit me. She thought me having a girlfriend was bad.

HMMMM.

Every dream I have of WH is of US being intimate.

And, on top of that, I have had dreams where we sat and talked this issue out, making me wake up completely forgetting what is happening.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I am FWW and BS ... After my A ended, I would have dreams of H & I happy and having a wonderful time together - never any dreams of OM (wishful thinking maybe?). When I began suspecting his A and after it was admitted, I've had dreams of H & OW together ... sometimes I get him back, but mostly its of them having fun together or me seeing them kiss or being intimate. YUCK! They are slowly fading.

I occasionally have a really weird, vivid dream and then look up symbols in the dream dictionary. It is often very insightful to what emotions or stresses I'm experiencing at the time.