I never had the strength. Shoot, my nature was to just kick Mrs. MM to the curb and move on. The strength, direction, etc that it took to do this was from the Lord.

My God will supply all of my needs in Christ Jesus.

It was as simple as that. He never left me, He never waivered. When I wanted to give up, He understood. And came alongside and just held me. Many of the steps were taken with Him carrying me...with me in the fetal position in His arms.

The only credit I can take in this is that I kept my eyes on Him.

All of the rest of this was His work!

MM, an excellent testimony to perservering in the Lord.

God bless.

MM,

I was always a praying girl, but never did I pray so much when Mr. RLT started down his path with Satan. I prayed until I couldn't pray anymore. Sometimes, I did feel abandoned by Him, I admit. Mr. RLT just kept going down and down into the darkness, even took OW to church with him a few times. I read once that Satan goes to church, too. I imagined the two of them sitting there, with Satan right smack in between them.

When Mr. RLT left the last time (he came and went several times), God finally answered my prayers and told him to come home. Since then, he is moving closer to God each day. This is from a man who, just a couple of years ago, told me flat out that he didn't believe in God. That shocked me.

We go to church every Sunday now. He also goes to Bible study, and to a men's church group. He reads the Bible nightly.

As for me, like I said, I was always a praying girl, but never grounded my faith in Christianity. I pretty much bought into the sort of New Age crap. That is totally out now.

I still have moments when I feel sometimes, well, like I was betrayed by God. Here I was, praying for Mr. RLT--and the whole time he was having an affair. He knew. God knew. No one clued me in, though. I'm trying to get over that.

Anyway, if there is a silver lining in all of this, we are moving toward the Christian faith, learning and reading each day. Foreverhers has helped me a lot, and continues to do so.

Have you ever thought that maybe God was protecting you...which is why you didnt know? Sometimes, the only way to reach someone is to let them go thru ****** on earth.

It sounds as if your husband was one of those. That it took all of this to get him to his knees and to a relationship with Jesus. And while I know that doesnt lessen the pain, ask yourself that if all of this (including your pain) helped save your husband from the REAL ******...was all of this worth it?

He has been beside you the entire time!

MM, yes. I do believe that all of this **** was to get Mr. RLT in a relationship with Jesus. But I sometimes feel like I was used in this. Does that make sense?

For me ... sometimes I feel as though Mr. RLT has been saved, literally. And now I am the one that has been thrown down the hole of darkness, because I can't get over feelings of rejection, isolation, and a whole lot of fear.

http://plantinghisseeds.com/articles/eagles.htm

A link for RT... and others struggling with these kinds of situations.

Aaahhhhh. And now you are getting the point also. It wasnt just about your husband! He is also trying to get closer to you.

Rejection, isolation and fear are the tools of the Devil. You were never used in this. Your husband made free will decisions! But the Lord was faithful to both of you and He provided a way for the two of you to get back your marriage, even after your husband's wrong decisions.

Look into this. See where He was and is trying to reach you...change you. Once you figure that out, those feelings will go away. I promise!

MM -

Great news indeed. It's so uplifting to see that it's not over until God says it's over, and that perseverance does pay off.

I love the fact that your wife's OM took to sleeping with his gun. May he live in fear looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And where can I get one of those unmarked woodchippers?

Thanks HB! Yeah...I have always said I dont want him to respect me, or like me, or hate me.

I just want him to fear me! It feels great knowing that I slept well at night...while he wondered if the boogey man would come!

fcf, well that little link of yours brought me to tears. I'm down to just one cry a day now, so I got it over with early in the day. Thank you, fcf.

MM, I have been looking into how He is trying to change me. I was, admittedly, complacent in the marriage before the A. I had just come to the conclusion that things were what they were, and I was tired of trying to change things. So I gave up.

I do have a tendency to hold on to things, if you can't tell already. I'm a believer in justice and loyalty to what I think is right ... and to the point of stupidity. If there are two sides to something, and I happen to be on your side, I will stick with you to the death. Maybe not a good thing. I'm not so good at surrendering.

Maybe these are the things I need to work on?

hey this stuff about the gun under the pillow is kind of amusing. Mr. RLT has at least half way admitted his "fear" of OW's H. The guy had threatened to kill him--shoot him, throw him over a balcony! He doesn't sleep with a gun under his pillow, but my guess is, he has spent at least a day or two looking over his shoulder at work.

Maybe. But I have found that the problems in the marriage were symptoms of bigger issues. I found that it wasnt so much that Jesus wanted me to be a better husband (of course, He did). But that He was trying to get closer to me.

I think it is more personal than being a better husband and wife. I think it is all about Him trying to get me (and you) to fix your eyes on Him. To get in a deeper relationship with Him. To depend on Him.

You say you were complacent in the marriage. Have you also been complacent in your relationship with Him? Do you call Him Lord and Father...or do you call Him Abba (daddy)?

While He is Lord...He wants a more personal relationship. You are His child...brought into the family by what He did on the Cross. If you were the daughter of the President of the United States, would you walk into the Oval Office and sit down on the chair in front of him and say "Father, I wanted to ask you if it would be possible to requisition a cat for me to play with?"

Or would you walk into the office, jump into his lap, give him a kiss and say "Daddy...can I have a cat?"

Therein lies the difference. God wants to be Abba. And it could be that thru this mess with your husband and trying to reach him, He was also trying to reach you and get you to jump up on His lap and throw your arms around His neck. To trust Him. To make Him a part of everything in your life...all of the time.

Ask yourself...is this what He is trying to do?

I love OPs that are scared!! It makes my day!

Here is what the Bible says about the OP and that he is a fool and invites many things upon himself (or herself) by taking up with another man's wife (or woman's husband). While I dont condone violence towards OPs, I love the fact that they run around scared that violence could happen!

MM, no way was I any of that. I used to go to Unity Church. More like a club. They focused only on Jesus' teaching, which is all well and good. But they never mentioned The Cross, Redemption, Resurrection. And there was definitely NO SIN. According to them, we are all born in innocence. God loves us there, no matter what we do. It was a "feel good" kind of church. No reflection. No sin. No consequences.

After the A, we high tailed it over to the Catholic Church (church of family origin for both of us). Did that for a few months. Started reading, investigating. Read a lot of the "lively debate" here on MB concerning religion. Decided to try a nondemoninational church. Mr. RLT was enthralled, immediately. We've been going there ever since.

When I was a kid I went to Bible School. It always stuck with me, I think, because a lot of those old lessons came back to me in this horror I've lived. So, yes, maybe it was Jesus knocking on my heart's door.

I have to say, I am walking in this direction, but still struggling with what has happened, so not quite there yet. Also, I have always been more of an intellectual type thinker. Not that I am smart, by any means. I just look for proof, you know? Have read a lot of books (was an English major), but never really picked up the Bible until recently. It IS truly fascinating.

So I'm opening up to it. Trying to get there. Jealous a little of husband because he seems to be progressing faster than me in this.

Pro 6:29 So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whoever touches her will not go unpunished.

But what if he repents?

And they lead the lambs to slaughter with this stuff!


As long as it is a church that teaches the Bible...all of it...then I say "Yeah!!!"


Are your eyes on Him? If they are, then you wont see the rest of this. Remember, as long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, he could walk on water. When he stopped, he sank.


I am glad to hear that your husband is being brought into the love of the Lord. And I am glad that you continue to seek knowledge and proof of that which you believe. It is all good!

But I want you to think about this as you go through your day...as you pray to Him. Instead of praying "Lord help me or Lord do this please..." try starting a conversation with Him. Try just getting into an open conversation. Ask Him to reveal His will. He has promised He will!

It is all good to get more info. I try to everyday to learn more and more about Him. But while doing that...I also realize that it isnt as important to read books about how to play tennis...as it is to get out there and just play!

He wants a relationship with you. He wants a real, live, personal. intimate relationship with Him. He wants you to love Him like no other, including your husband. He wants to be first in your life. He wants you to love Him, depend upon Him, trust Him, laugh with Him, cry with Him!

I have told this story many times on this website...and I wish I had saved a link where I had done so. But let me tell it again...

There was a man that woke up one day and decided that he would rededicate himself to the Lord. So, he went down to the living room, sat by the fireplace and prayed. He said that he promised that he would come here every morning before work and spend an hour with the Lord.

Well, for about a year, he did just that. Every morning, he came downstairs and sat and talked and prayed with the Lord. And He received much instruction from the Lord durign that time.

But after a year, some things began to change! This guy got a new job, which required him to be in earlier. So, he shaved back the meetings with Jesus to a half hour each day. As the new job went along, he realized he was tired a lot...so now it began to be a half hour once or twice a week.

You see where this is headed, dont you??

Eventually, he stopped meeting with Jesus at all. About 6 months went by, and one Saturday morning, he walked down stairs to get his coffee early i nthe morning. As he passed by the living room, he got an image of Jesus sitting next to the fireplace, as if He was waiting.

This guy ran into the living room, fell to his knees and began crying. And he said "Lord, I have neglected you. Have you been here the whole time?"

Jesus' response was: "John, I love you. You asked to meet with me every morning and I agreed. I love our time together. Yes, I have been here every morning as you asked. It used to be the highlight of my day."

Imagine that!!! Here is the God of the Universe, who has so many things going on, so many people to help, so many things to do...and the higlight of His day was to sit by the fireplace and chat with this guy!!

That is what He wants! He wants to know you. He wants to spend time with you. He wants a personal relationship with you!!

This is the reason you were created. It is the meaning of life!

He repents, and eternal damnation is spared. But that doesnt mean he wont reap punishment in this life. Even believers are punished by God when they are in rebellion (see Hebrews 10).

RLT-- Man oh man can I relate. I know EXACTLY what you're saying. After we first recovered (late 2003), I actually felt resentment that my FWH was now becoming this godly man of God who ended up smelling like a rose. It has taken MUCH prayer and long discussions with FWH and my pastors to work through that. The experience-- as awful as it was -- was definitely for a purpose. I'm JUST NOW seeing what that purpose was after all this time.

TJ over --

That's AWESOME about your wife MM. Praise God!

Thanks Princess!!