Well, an update to my story. this past friday, my WH and I went out and he stay the night at the house while the kids stayed with their aunt. I went to go get the kids early that morning and I see the OW pulling out of her road. So, I slow down to see where she is going because my WH lives just up the road. She puts into his road and I turn around and follow her. She is coming out of his trailer!!!! I kind of figured this was going on, but to see it for myself just drove me crazy. So, I started hitting her over the head and asked her why she wanted to ruin my family so much for. I then just quit and got in my car and left. All the while, my WH is at my house in my bed sleeping. So, I blast in and start asking him what in the he)) is going on here. That I have had enough of his games and that I wanted a divorce.

I finally calmed down and just asked him, what do you really want? If you really want her, then let me alone and lets get a divorce, so I can go on with my life and find that someone who wants to love me and will be there for me. He said he knew he had been lying to me, but he was a coward and too afraid to tell me, because I had threatened him with the kids. I did not threaten him with the kids, I just told him what it would be like as a divorced couple with these kids plain and simple. So, he said that he wanted to make it work that he knew he had not been doing that and that he owned it to me and the kids to do that. He told me that he did care a lot about the OW and that it was going to be very hard for him to get over her.

But my problem is she is family and I will see her because of that and he will too. So, how do I handle that. Her son is our cousin and we help him race go-carts. How do I handle that situation? I can be civil with her for her son, but it will be hard for a while. I believe we are finally on the same page and on the road to possible recovery, but I don't know about this situation. My son races too and he loves it, so it is not like we can just quit. Her son needs this outlet because his father is not being there for him and he is doing bad in school and the racing is the only thing that is helping him through that right now.

So, what do I do?

Need some advice here. Does everyone just think I am crazy or something. No one has made a comment or anything. I need some advice or some guidance or something.

PLEASE!

Do you want your marriage or a relationship with this OW, her son, etc. I know this sounds harsh but no contact is required and I mean no contact or your marriage will pay the price. He even admits that "it is going to be hard to get over her". Of course it will be, fantasies are great and feel good and such and I don't want to willingly give it up. You must establish no contact even if it means taking other jobs and moving out of state to establish it or your WH and he is still wayward whether he is having sex with her or not (in his mind) will continually think about ways to keep his fantasy alive as will the OW. Your M will be doomed unless you establish NC, imo.

JBear, I think the reason you're not getting many comments might perhaps because others are seeing something similar to my first reaction to reading this thread. That is, put simply, because one of the firmest things you say is that you won't do what is necessary to separate WH and your family from the OW's family. MB folks are very good at reading between the lines because we’ve been in the same predicament you are just now experiencing. For instance, I don't have a clue why you think a two-year-old boy is so attached to racing he would suffer if he were removed from that sport. That's not logical to me. If you want this to end, you and your family are going to find it necessary to do some hard things. Probably the best solution would be to move away.

Second, I absolutely know things are difficult for you, with a baby only a few week’s old. I sympathize with you. It’s horrible that you have to face this in a time when you should be caring for the infant full time. But, Jbear, it’s what God has given you and you’ll be able to work your way through it. God doesn’t give one more than one can bear.

However, there's no information in what you’ve written that leads anyone to conclude you're applying any MB principles. If OW still has a key to WH's home and felt free to go inside it with him not there, it’s clear the adultery is still on-going. What have you done to end it? Have you exposed the adultery to people who can apply pressure on the adultery and influence it to end? That’s the first step, but there’s nothing in your words to indicate you’ve started to apply Dr. Harley’s program.

If you take no other advice, lady, please see a doctor and ask for anti-depressants. The assault on the OW is a big, red flag saying you need something to help you through this time. I recommend them even when the betrayed spouse hasn’t just given birth, btw. Please see your doctor as soon as you can.