Should i accept that the WW says she needs to leave and that she doesnt love me or feel passionate about me and just move on?

I dont want to invest time in something that will be more of a fantasy for me then the affair she is having is for her.

I told her i wont file divorce papers but she wants me to. She wants out so she can have her freedom.

Says she cant see herself spending the rest of her life with me.

I dont want a person that doesnt want me so maybe i need to pack it in and forget this whole plan a stuff.

Its been a very recent thing but im feeling like i dont have a chance already.

You have a small child if I am correct. If that is the case, you owe it to your child to be patient. You have just begun this journey. If you can, call the Harley's. If you truly feel like you can't handle this... then I would strongly suggest trying to gain custody of your child since your WW is obviously an unfit parent at this time.

But I will repeat... this just happened... be calm.. develop a plan with the help of the Harleys if you want to save your M.

The things that she is saying are typical stuff for a WW.

I know that I am not a pro here, but I'll at least tell you what I did: I told my H that if he wants the D he can file the papers ... I do NOT want it, therefore I am NOT going to file or pay for it. The way I see it, if he wants it bad enough, he'll make it happen. Otherwise, I still have a shot (no matter how small it seems at times).

How do you know if you even should try to have a chance.

What if your convinced they wont change and you dont want to go thru years of crap for a slight chance?

There is no way i can afford counseling right now as she also wrecked me financially with hidden credit cards and leaving me holding the bag on a house i cant afford on my own. Im working on trying to sell the house and move. I have only enough saved to cover a couple months or so.

yes i do have a small child but hes a tough guy and i know i can get him thru this.

She is coming over and watching him when i am at work at night so she isnt a bad mom just on days when im here shes not. Custody of the child physically will be with me for sure but i want her to be in his life as much as possible.

I keep feeling like i should just move on and show her that i am a worthwhile person and it was her loss.

Im supposed to go on a "date" with her tmrw to just have fun together. Im not sure if thats a good idea or not.

I think she is toying with me back and forth and giving me false hope one minute and then telling me its all my hope and she has been trying to not mislead me that its over to her.


Are all woman like this?

Am i in for a lifetime of betrayals and should stop caring and being one of the "good guys" start being an a hole and just not get emotionally invested in women anymore?

I feel like i brought all this on myself by treating women with care and understanding and devotion. The guys with no brain, no real idea what a man is, and no caring good treatment of women is what they all seem to want.

Maybe i can become a hermit.

Look, if you are here for help.. it is there for the taking... both on the forum and in things to read here. If you are here just for a pity party (no offense intended) we all have been through what you went through and worse.

So, what do YOU want to do? You don't have to fight this battle... your WW has given you an out... so, is she worth fighting for or not? She may not be... so it might be time to cut your losses. If she is and you feel this will be an isolated incident, I would suggest trying to take advice and drop the negative atitudes toward all women. You KNOW all women aren't like that...so why bother asking?

I know you're pretty young... I can chalk a lot of immaturity up to your age.... but you have a child... now is when you need to step up to the plate... make some life altering decisions and continue moving forward. The fact that she wants to spend time with you bodes well for recovery...but the question is, do you want to recover... or not? If you do, realize there are NO guarantees....and the work will be hard. Seek out Plank, MelodyLane, Pepperband, BobPure and Foreverhers... their guidance should you choose to recover will be invaluable.