Posted this in the after divorce/dating room too...Sorry.

============================================================

Hi, this is confusing. Am I reading too much into this?

FWW and STBX has recently been calling me just to say "hi" or to share something minor that she saw on the news, TV, Radio, etc. Chit-Chat. She previously did this daily when we were married and "in love", but not for the past year or so.

I still Love her and would like to try and work things out. That has been something she's never been willing to do. She moved out and has been clear that there is no love for me anymore. In addition she's been dating a man the past 5 months who spoils her rotten (trips, gifts, etc). Say's she's in love with him.

We have been separated for 8 months and the D is very close to finalizing. Issues such as our child, property, assets and debts have been agreed upon. Cash is the only negotiating thing right now.

Questions for people who were/are ****** bent on ending marriage........Did you ever call your STBX for no reason? Daily? Were you feeling things out for a reconciliation? Or just out of friendship?

I would like to ask her directly, but I don't want to end a friendship or jeopardize any future.

That *is* confusing. Unfortunately I'm finding out, there are always some "grey areas"...

If she's seeing someone, IMO it's inappropriate to be contacting you for idle chit-chat. Could be she's doing some cake-eating (I filed for the D in my marriage - after a long struggle that was a one-way street).

If she's so in love with the OM she shouldn't even be interested in trivialities with you. Could be she's second-guessing her choice, and testing the waters to see which pool she wants to jump back into.

Both my Ex and I got into new relationships post-separation (neither of us was involved with anyone else immediately prior to separation - he had an EA some years before and who knows what else?)... but he tried to keep a foot in the door even after he was madly in love (cough) with someone else (who just left him yesterday!).

I'd come out and ask. If she's cake-eating - it's plan B time. If she's open to reconciliation, then it's decision time for her to end it with OM, and perhaps some serious Plan A - after all you are still legally married.

I hate mixed signals. I got lots of them from my Ex, but in the end, I went through with the D because I was't going to be a second choice. Don't be her second choice either.

In kind support,

JinGA

I can relate my STBXW is always giving me mixed signals and it is hard to make sense of it all. You are in a tough spot because your STBXW is already involved with another man. IMO she is having second thoughts and is trying to leave the door open just incase her new life and man fall thru. You need to decide if you love her enough to be her fall guy and if she did come back if you really love her enough to take her back. During a separation it is hard not to think of all the good times especially since you still have feelings for her but you did separate and decide to get divorced for a reason. Love is like an addiction, I found some good articles on the Divorce101 site here is a link http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/addiction.htm . If you really still love her then you should do whatever it takes to get her back Plan B Ect.... but sometimes we misinterpret love and you might be in the same boat 2 years from now. Just a thought......