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Should my wife Read "Surviving and Affair"

#1862455 04/20/07 01:40 PM

Joined: Apr 2007

Posts: 215

hopesandfears Offline

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hopesandfears

Member

Joined: Apr 2007

Posts: 215

I have just started to read Surviving an Affair and the opening chapters are very close to what I'm experiencing with my wife.

Is it a good idea to get her to read it as well.

Should I get my wife to read Surviving an Affair while I'm reading it single choice
Yes (100%, 1 Votes)
No (0%, 0 Votes)
Total Votes: 1 Voting on this poll ends: 04/28/07 01:39 PM

Together 10 Years
Married 14 Febuary 04
DD 6 March 2007
DS8 & DS9
BS 38(me)
WS 39

Re: Should my wife Read "Surviving and Affair" hopesandfears #1862456 04/21/07 12:36 AM
Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 7,464 Sydney, Australia B bigkahuna Member
bigkahuna Member B Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 7,464 Sydney, Australia	Not if she is still active in her affair. You could show her the Infidelity FAQ's on this site though Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.

Re: Should my wife Read "Surviving and Affair" bigkahuna #1862457 04/21/07 05:25 AM
Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 566 D devastated01 Member
devastated01 Member D Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 566	IMHO it wouldn't do much good. I printed out copies of the Infidelity articles from MB and put it on the table. WS would occassionally take it up and read, and can still remember those times I didn't want to disturb it, like reading it was going to give her an "AHA!" moment and break the spell of the fog. It gave her some stuff to think about, but in the end I don't think it did much good in my case. Your mileage may vary <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Dev BS - 31 (me) WW - 29 M ~2 years, No kids DDay - 2nd Dec 2006 Exposed - 15th Jan 2007 NC started - 14th Jan 2007 NC broken 23rd Jan 2007 NC broken many times since Status: WS moved out 22 March 07 "to think"; A ongoing still; 2nd July 2007 - signed Divorce papers "I'm done!"

Re: Should my wife Read "Surviving and Affair" devastated01 #1862458 04/21/07 12:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 6,058 M Mark1952 Member
Mark1952 Member M Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 6,058	Chris, If the A has ended and she has completed withdrawal and is really committed to rebuilding the M, then reading it is a good choice. That is, if she is already actively working on recovery, it might help her. OTOH, HN/HN or FIL/SIL might be a better choice to introduce the MB concepts. If she is still engaged in an A, then I would not suggest that she read it, because you will lose your advantage of knowing the plan you are trying to execute. It would be like giving your opponent in the Super Bowl your play book two weeks before the game. It also would only make her feel more polarized, more of a case of him vs. me and since she would still be too foggy for it to sink in, would be a waste of time. JMO Mark

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