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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 33
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 33 |
Post deleted by dexterdogg
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,345
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BTDT. I have a hard time believing it's "nervousness". More than likely she is either not very attracted to you physically, or has some other issues (like is mortified of being seen being affectionate in public, I am just guessing). Someone who is not willing to give a casual hug after about 5 dates is a red flag to me.
AGG
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 558
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Don't mean to disappoint you, but it does sound like there is something going on. I know I'm not over my last relationship yet and I don't want a man putting his arm around me if it might turn into something more. As long as I know it's just one of my friends and it won't lead to any other feelings for either of us, then great!. But last night I was talking to one of my male friends IM and I've told him that I can't date anyone right now (he likes me more than I like any man right now) and at the end he put xoxoxo, well knowing how he feels about me that made me uncomfortable - so. Guess if I met a man that actually met some of my needs for about 5 dates though and I was attracted to him then I'd probably feel different.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 33
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RMW, thanks for explaining how you feel. I wouldn't have a hard time just being friends with her if I knew that was all that was going to happen. I would keep her as a friend and try and find someone else to have a relationship with. I met her on an online dating site and just figured that maybe she was ready to date someone. When we started spending time together she removed her profile so I thought that maybe that was a good thing, but maybe not. I am just confused as to weather I should bring it up with her, see what happens as time goes on etc.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 33
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 33 |
After reading my first post, I should would like to add something. Because of the way that the first 3 dates went, I have not attempted to do anything that I would like to do. I haven't tried to put my arm around her, hug her etc. I am not sure if I should try it or wait and try and feel things out longer before doing it.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 61
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Joined: Aug 2006
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dexter, you say you get along very well, but you also said that she acts nervous and doesn't say much. That seems odd to me.
Maybe she is generally untrusting of men or maybe she's been hurt?
43 y/o
Divorced 2 years
Cheating Spouse
Mom of 2 (14 and 18)
In a relationship
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 33
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 33 |
I think that we get along well. We talk on the phone and or IM 1-3 hours a night. The nervousness seems to be going away but she still doesn't say much and if I ask her a question, she will answer. Sometimes I will ask her a question in which she could ask me a question back and she won't. It will be just answering my question and nothing else. It could be that she is untrusting of men or been hurt, or maybe it is that she isn't used to dating very much. I know that she has had some medical issues in the past and maybe that had a part in it. I think I will just see where it goes (if anywhere) and take it from there. Not much else I can do. Maybe the next time we talk, I will bring it up.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 558
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I'm glad her nervousness is starting to go away. I know it will take me a while to trust again. It took a long time for me to let David in and he didn't understand. Once I got comfortable around him he was already testy enough that it caused some trouble. And then after I found out he was cheating on me even though we were in counseling, I was devastated.
I had a friend get up with me to set me up for a date with someone and I'm nervous. But I guess that is normal if you've never met someone and supposed to be going out with them?
Dexterdogg, it sounds like you are doing a good job and being understanding (something a lot of men don't do). Keep up the good work!!!
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