My bf and I have been struggling with unpleasant conversation in the past week. I'm the wayward and cheated on him twice with the same guy after he took me back after the first cheating. I posted my story in recovery section. First of all my bf said he couldn't spend time with me alone 'cuz he'd think about me being with the other guy all the time so we tried involving another girl twice when we spent time together. Then he told me he felt better and closer with me and we wouldn't need another girl anymore. Then we tried spending some time together alone and it was good except it went downhill at the end. We talked on phone everyday and had struggles. I've been seeing a counselor and I'm learning to be more honest and braver about speaking up what's on my mind in order for him to understand me better, especially the emotional needs we weren't aware of in the past. The counselor really helped me gain strength to be myself, to be more confident and to know the importance of being honest and not hold back thoughts in a healthy relationship. But then she also told me to set my boundary and ask for respect for my boundary. So I did get more honest and braver with confrontation. I used to just compromise just so we avoided argument. But obvious that wasn't good enough for me and I was unhappy and I cheated on him. So anyway, as I got less intimidated by argument, I stood on my feet and sometimes forgot that I was the wayward one and I need to be understanding, patient and ask for forgiveness.
Thursday night, we talked and it got into an unpleasant conversation. at one point, i snapped and argued. He hung up on me right away. we had plan to spend sunday together. Now he told me that he would not see me without another girl's presence. i feel desperate but then weirdly peaceful.
things went well for a while and now back to the starting point where he needs someone else's presence to feel comfortable spending time with me. i guess i understand if he fears that we would argue again and with someone else there, our attention were deviated so we will not argue. if he feels that he needs someone else there so he won't always think about what i and the other guy did, that makes sense to me too. but with such a huge slide back, i do feel desperate.
but if he does this just to punish me because i forgot to be patient and argued with him... i don't know but i think that's what i'm weirdly peaceful about. because i know if this really is what he meant, then my feelings and my love for him will withdraw a little. as he continues to do this, my love for him will eventually diminish and i can walk away without regret and pain. i don't know if this thought is too negative and unhealthy for where we are now, or if i should talk to him about this thought... after all i've learned that i should be honest with him about my feelings and thoughts no matter it's positive or negative. i feel his heart is hard like a stone now... no negotiation.
so could anyone give me some feedback about what might be going through his mind? should i tell him what's on my mind...? or should i wait till things get better...?

Sorry for being so wordy...