Hello..I am new here so let me get started. My husband and I were married when we were 19, before he went to Iraq, so we have been married for 4 years. Weve had our ups and downs, I'm not perfect because I kept begging him to talk to me and spend time with me, he never did. Then I fell in love with my bff because he always listen to me. But, I never left my husband and I told him about it and I wanted us to work out. I didn't feel this way until he left me and he said that he wasnt in love with me last year. He came back a month later and we worked it out. So we were both wrong. Then he wanted me to stop talking to my bff, which I did. 4 months ago I just bought him a brand new diamond wedding band and everything seem fine.. Then in February, were kinda of having problems and we talked about separting, but nothing leading to divorce. He recently got a military job in Maryland and every since then he has changed. He told me that he wasnt in love with me anymore and he was emailing other women and he was on myspace and he was listed single on it. I am devasted. I gave him the space that he asked for then last week he said that he thought we should just be friends and that he wanted a divorce, and that maybe things could change in a few months or years, only time will tell. I could he make a huge decision like that within a week, I have asked to go to counseling and a marriage retreat and he won't do it. I will be getting my degree next month and I want him back but then again I don't because this is his second time doing this. What should I do? Will he come back to me?

At least I know I am not alone...read my post above Can't give up...Everyone will probably think I am crazy to want to work on this but unlike you it took me forever to find him..I was 35 and he was 26 when we met...I've invested 15 years and now I am headed for the curb.. what is with guys...even when they commit they can't commit.

I had a situation like that a few years ago with my now husband. He was stationed in Hawaii and told me the same thing. "I love you, but I;m not in love with you anymore" That just devasted me. I mean i had invested so much time and I was in love with him. Well, thing ended for a few months. I worked on myself. I started becoming independent of him and started taking better care of myself and tried new things. I later went to see him because I had already purchased a ticket, he liked the change. The thing is, men like it when you invest in yourself as well. show him that you can be independent from him and that you have your own interest aside from him. sometimes, they need to see that the grass is not greener on the other side. Give him space and if it's meant to be, it will fall into place. On another note, I never cheated on him, but he did me. The next part is very important. You can forgive, but you never really forget and that may be his problem. It's very hard to, but he wants it to work, he has to try. from the sound of it, he has given up, but he needs that time to realize what he has and will lose.