I went from being devasted over losing my wife to wanting nothing to do with her in less than a month? It scares me that I have overcome all of this so quickly and am ready to move on in life. I seriously am not looking back and I am only looking forward. I love her but I don't love who she has become. Does that make sense???

It's natural but I think it's just one of the phases. I'm no expert but during my divorce I went from devestated to "over it" in about two months. However, here I am, a year an a half later still loving him and missing my married life.

I('m still trying to keep things together and I'm new to all this --- but, I'd be careful about that feeling. It could just be a "defense" method to protect yourself.

By the way, how does your wife feel about your change? You've sorta changed the table around on her. It could drive her back to you. You could have more power now...

Remember, I'm new to all this so, my advice might not be correct...

Yes, but like others mentioned don't be shocked if something later triggers old feelings. It's a big roller coaster. I do think there was a point where I just had enough and I felt that I didn't even like XWH. Even though I could not take him back, I still sometimes have something trigger an old memory and I remember why I was once in love with him. I just have a hard time seeing X and the man I married as the same person any more.

It's good to move forward, but take it slow for your sake. You need time to heal before you get in another relationship.

Being in a relationship with another woman is the last thing I would do. I guess once that happens I know things are really over even though they technically are. Does that make sense?

I used to get butterflies when my wife called even when we split up. However, when she calls, I don't even want to answer the phone. It's depressing that I have become that person.

Last few days I have digressed and I have been missing her. She did something that totally caught me off guard, she changed her dutie station from Alaska to be home by the family and well, that really impressed me and made me think she actually does care...

I have gone from completely devastated to happy being single/done with his lies and back again a dozen times. i wouldn't get too comfy in the "over it" phase. Just wait and see what happens. If you are truly at peace with it, good for you. Tell me how to get there!

I thought I'd moved on with another R, but while I kept pushing those old feelings for XH aside, swallowing them down and otherwise denying them, they kept coming back.

I ended the new R. I'm on my own now and I'm OK with that - but I still have feelings for XH and I'm pretty sure I always will - since they really haven't changed at all.

I went through with the D to protect our kids, our business, and myself, from some irresponsible behaviours he was involved in at the time - and while I didn't want a D, it was the only safe logical decision to make at the time.

I'd like to reconcile with him - I've got a thread on here and on GQII where I'm trying to figure out what, if anything, I should do about this...

But I do think it's normal to flip-flop back and forth.

You and your X have a history together - you can't erase that - EVER. If you feel you want to reconcile, find a way to try. If you can't, then I think you just have to learn how to live with it.

Sucks sometimes.

JinGA