I can't believe I am back here at MB site. Here's brief history. My husband is a serial cheater. i first came here six years ago when i discovered H's first affair. Worked it out. a few years later discovered another.

I've filed for divorce. We're separated. He begs me to come back. Says I am the "only one he'll ever love". I have had to restart a career ( went back to work after out of my career for six years as stay-at-home mom. That was hard. But i've been back 2 years now and making as much money as my H).

I cannot go back to him. I just cannot this time. Although I have postponed going through with finalizing divorce to make sure myheart won't change, I don't think it will.

He has burned me too badly. Lies, lies. All from this very church going, bible reading, Christian man.

I'm sorry if i offend anyone's religion. I am a Christian. I love God. I feel I am a moral person. but i am sickened by "church people" because of my husband primarily, and then all the stories i hear about both firsthand, about people in community, and in the media.

And I am ready to begin life again at 44. I wonder if I will ever find love again. Felt I have never really been loved like I should. Right now I am so cynical on love, church, religion. I just work hard at my job, for my survival and for my 12 year old dau.

Just wanted to share and talk with others. Would welcome any email or posts in response. i am bursting to talk abotu all my frustrations.

My church turned on me like piranahs.

You ain't supposed to get divorced, even though SHE'S divorcing me for HER having an affair.

Go figure.

So sorry to hear that Pariah. Yes, so many churches can be so harsh.

Lady,

My church is a very old congregation. Nobody but nobody gets divorecd in my congregation (except me!). Most of them did not know what to say and I was never once contacted by the church to help me (and I had gone there my entire life).

But.. they never turned their back on me either. It was so strange, I would come to church without my X and members would come up and say hi to me and put the hand on my shoulder. I think it was all they could offer and I loved them for it.

It is tough for people that haven't gone through a divorce to understand. I used to think that people who are divorced were damaged goods (we are not).

Have you ever attended a divorcecare group? (www.divorcecare.org). They are Christian based and tackle the issues of divorce head on.

Take care...

As a Christian, I am offended, not by your words, but by THE Actions or more lack there of; of others who claim to be Christians and yet do not hold this man accountable for his affairs or call him to be the Christian HE says He is.

have you gone to your pastors and asked that they confront him about his affairs and his actions as a "so-called' Christian man? (That IS their role as HIS as Pastor as well as yours).

That is what Matthew chapter 18 verses 15-18 say we are supposed to do as followers of Christ. If the pastors and elders of your congregation fail to uphold their responsibilities on this is there someone you can contact (someone over your demonation?) about their lack of doing their job? If not, look for a new church for yourself, one that takes holding people accountable seriously.

I know my church does, and it actually helps make my marriage safer and stronger, because we both know that either one of us could go to the pastors or elders if we need to, and they would call either one of us to account.