I can't believe I am back here at MB site. Here's brief history. My husband is a serial cheater. i first came here six years ago when i discovered H's first affair. Worked it out. a few years later discovered another.

I've filed for divorce. We're separated. He begs me to come back. Says I am the "only one he'll ever love". I have had to restart a career ( went back to work after out of my career for six years as stay-at-home mom. That was hard. But i've been back 2 years now and making as much money as my H).

I cannot go back to him. I just cannot this time. Although I have postponed going through with finalizing divorce to make sure myheart won't change, I don't think it will.

He has burned me too badly. Lies, lies. All from this very church going, bible reading, Christian man.

I'm sorry if i offend anyone's religion. I am a Christian. I love God. I feel I am a moral person. but i am sickened by "church people" because of my husband primarily, and then all the stories i hear about both firsthand, about people in community, and in the media.

And I am ready to begin life again at 44. I wonder if I will ever find love again. Felt I have never really been loved like I should. Right now I am so cynical on love, church, religion. I just work hard at my job, for my survival and for my 12 year old dau.

Just wanted to share and talk with others. Would welcome any email or posts in response. i am bursting to talk abotu all my frustrations.

{{{{ladygrey}}}}

I understand. You have every right to feel angry and hurt. I have a letter my XWH wrote to OW telling her how he believed that "God brought them together." Hogwash! I've read my Bible enough to know that God would never do that. Your husband may be pretending to be a "Christian" but he's not right with God. Don't let yourself get caught up in anger with God over something your WH has done. You need God to lean on because it will get harder before it gets better. There were times when I wondered if it would ever end, but I can look back now and see how much I've been blessed.

Check to see if there is a DivorceCare class in your area. It really helped me go through a lot of the emotional issues. They also have a kids class. I also read a lot of Psalms (especially ones refering to warfare - LOL). Most importantly, don't forget to take time to pamper and take care of yourself.

By the way, God punishes better than we ever can. Sometimes we just need to get out of the way and let him.

Thanks fbwidow. I know it must have really hurt you to read those words about "God" bringing your XWH and his OW together. It is amazing how some people can twist, mold,or distort everything, including God, into what feels good for them and soothes their conscience.

With my soon-2b XWH's 2nd OW, I called her to confront her when I discovered text messages, calls back/forth from H's cell. She denied and said "we are just friends"... and that he was the only one she felt she could talk to about her divorce because he was the only one at their work place that was a "Christian". (then they continued to text message, call home and cell phones and who knows what else for months behind my back).

I wish I knew what Christian counseling he was giving her ... when all he was doing at home with me was leaving at night not coming home and not answering his cell, spitting on me, pushing me, tearing up my clothes, and calling me the B word at least ten times a day.

I am not mad at God. I love God and feel like His hand has been on me and my dau. through this whole thing.

Lady Grey, You should not go back. Your husband's affair is bad, but just as bad, and scarier, is that he spit on you, pushed you, and tore your clothes. That is abuse!

You are doing the right thing.

After 25 years of marriage, my mother left my father who was a serial cheater. Well, serial, simulateous, and more. There were many OW, as my mother came to find out.

So, there she is at 44 with two young adults and a teenager. Luckily, she was in a position where she didn't have to find a job and support us. Mother didn't date for about 5 years, then she started. She got remarried about 10 years after separating from my dad, and the man she married is great. They are very, very happy together.I consider him my step dad even though I was a grown woman when they married.

Chin up, don't look back.

He's not the first to "hide behind religion" - these men are such a dime a dozen anymore it's pathetic. I went to the largest church in my state where the preacher himself was cheating on his wife with gay men. It came out in the media, really what does that say to others? I believe in God too but I've been to one church after another filled with hippocrites. Most of my customers that talk about God are the ones that dont' pay and lie. One held a gun to his wife last fall, he's the one with the cross on his business card. Keep in mind God never meant it to be this way. This is a fallen world. It's very hard to find a good Bible based church, with a real leader as the pastor. But I suggest you keep looking, find one far from your husband. See if you can find a good Christian counselor. The anger that comes out of affairs is terrible. I'm sure you yelled and screamed at him but no man is to cross the line into pushing and tearing your clothes, that's illegal and he can be charged for it. If this man has done this to you over and over again, don't stay and enable him any longer. Dont' stay and yell at him, he's been given chance after chance to change and he hasn't. He doesn't have the character, he's a fake hiding behind church and religion. However it's likely that you have some issues yourself, we all do. At the very least a kind Christian counselor can help you with your anger, help guide you in the healing process and at some point you'll forgive this jerk for your own sake. Next time round, I'm sure you'll be lookiing for a man of "character" and you'll know a guy like this a mile away, I do.

Hi,
I somehow felt your pain. Maybe because i witness how my parents got divorced when i was 12yrs old. There are lots of ways that i can prevented it but i was young that time. Now i am a father of 2 and i promise myself not to behave like my father. Don't be sad, life still must go on. There are others who suffers more. That's all that i can say.

Thank you so much to those of you above who responded with words of understanding and words of encouragement. Today is a better day. There will always be up days, and down days. We all have to just hang on one day at a time. So cliche, but SO true! Thanks to you.