My wife said tonight when we talked by phone that she loves me but that she is too hurt from our sex less marriage to continue.

She says that my rejections were too much. She asked for a divorce in October. We agreed to counseling, things were getting better but we really hadn't addressed the sex issue fully. Now she said that she had really made up her mind in October. Now it is too late. Now it can't be fixed. Now she has no hope. She's given up.

I still have hope that things can be fixed. She said that she loves me, but she's lost all hope and the years of no intimacy and her begging for it is too much. She says that we don't have to get an attorney right away, but she see that it's permanent.

We're suppose to talk tomorrow night again. But I really don't see her changing her mind at this point.

What does every one else think? Is she gone forever? I really need support.

Anyone? Any suggestions?

How about posting in the emotional needs part of this site? Have you done that?

Are you still going to counseling together? What is the counselor's take on this?

A marriage isn't over until divorce papers are signed so no she's not gone forever. If you are still fighting, if she is still wanting to talk it's a sign that she's still in the marriage, even with one foot out the door. Likely your wife is talking about more then sex, read through Dr. Harley's material on emotional needs - ask questions in the emotional needs part of this site. Tell her wife you are willing to try harder.

If you give up, so will she. You are separated? How about suggesting a weekly date night or something to keep in contact, there's a book about controlled separation that you might read that has ideas on what to do if you are separated.

I'm in counseling, she's not. The counslor thought we were making progress. (W said so too.) W just said that she had really made up her mind before be started C.

I agree it's not over until the papers are signed. I want to keep fighting. Her wanting to talk is so that she can tell me what she's taking, etc. It's not to "repair" the M.

We are separated, however, she's living in "our" house while my parents are out of town. Then she's moving out.

She said that she has no interest in "dating" me.

I'll post over in the emotional needs area..... thanks.

Get yourself the book "Light her fire" by ellen kreidman, or "Love is a decision" THis will help you out greatly in talking to your wife.

Hope it goes well for you. I am in the same boat, but it's my husband who left me for almost the same reasons.

If you need anyone to talk to... feel free to email me.

She moved out and is renting a house... "somewhere in town". I've since found out where that "somewhere" is.

I miss my wife very much, but I'm adjusting. I've been thinking about who I was when she and I first met. I was confident, I could make decisions, I was upbeat, I had a sense of future.... That was the person that she fell in love with and not the person she broke up with.

I've found myself moving back to this "old" me. I'm having to make decision for myself and building my confidence. It really does feel good.

I hope my wife will see the changes, but I know that I'm becoming a better person everyday... with or without her.

Why don't you want more sex with her?