I am on the verge of divorce for the second time in 4 months. In December I found out my wife had a PA. She kicked me out but very quickly we got back together. I have had great difficulty letting go of this. In other words I did not let go.

About a week ago under the influence of alcohol I texted one of her friends and propositioned her. Stupid yes, clearly out of my mind as well. I immediately told her what I had done. Partially, of spite and the other part guilt.

Now she has asked to leave and come back next Friday so we can talk. She says she needs space right now. I talked to her briefly on the phone yesterday and she said, "I don't hate you, I love you. We're both miserable and I don't know what to do to fix things right now. OK?"

The situation the day after my stupid incident was she was filing for divorce but she has backed off from that as far as I can tell for the moment. I am thinking she will want some extended separation. What is separation anyway? A prelude to divorce proceedings?

I love her and my children and I just want things to improve but I am trying to stay strong and hope for the best while dreading the worst.

Separation doesn't have to be a prelude to divorce. Just a chance for you and her to get some space, to think, to figure out what you want. Can you find a good marriage counselor to help the two of you? Is your ex open to it? If you drink and go down the road of cheating during this separation, yes, your separation will likely be a prelude to a divorce.

She's not my ex yet and I hope she won't ever be. We have see a counselor in the past. Since we got back together at the first of the year I have been but we have not been together. I don't want to cheat and the only thing I can think of is that I was being childish and just wanting her in whatever moment I was in to feel what it was like. Wrong I know but I can't change what I've done now. Hopefully, what I do today will effect a favorable outcome for the future.