I am new to this site. I am gald I found it.

I found out my husband of 3 years was just starting to (i think) have an on-line affair. I came across an email that just seemed strange. When I read these emails (her reply was there) I about had a stroke. I could not believe what I was reading! I was sick to my stomach. I went into panick mode. I called my sister and my best friend. It took me one week to confront him. During that week I was a wreck! I monitored every little thing he did and questioned every word that come out of his mouth. One week to the day while at work I just lost it. So I decided to write him a letter. I thought this the best way considering my state of mind or lack of it. So I went home and asked him to join me outside in the garage. The fist thing out of my mouth was tell me what is going on with TOW. He just stared at me with glazed eyes. So I then gave him the letter. After reading the letter I just started to blab. He admitted to it. No questions about it. I asked him WHY would he do this and his reply was "I have no excuse" "I just did it" and that was his reasons. I asked him if he wanted to be with that person and he said absolutly not. I asked if he had physical contact and he said absolutly not. In one of the emails he made a comment of "thanks for the feel-up, looking forward to next time" he told me she grabed his butt. But from what I read and from our phone records I am having a very hard time with this and the reply I received. Why would he tell her in email to call him on his cell and dont leave a message he has caller i.d. I mad him call her right there in front of me and tell her I was confroning him and that she is not to call our house or his cell or send any emails, he did it without question. Then I had him go in a delete her email address from his list. He was very applolgetic and he did cry...I am still watching everything. I can not get these emails out of my head and am still upset. I asked him if he wanted a divorece and he said absolutly not. I dont know what to do at this point. Just a little history: My first marrage and he second. We have custody of his two boys. Any thoughts would be realy appreciated.

wbctaz,

He is most likely not telling you everything.

My FWH started his A online. Chat, emails, then a meeting, then sex, then a vacation together. Well, you get the picture, where it can lead.

I would suggest MC, immediately. There's more to it. At least that's what my gut tells me.

thank you for posting. I think I know in my heart of hearts there is more to. I almost hired a p.i. but second guessed myself. I may rethink that just for some peace of mind.

there is a thread on here called SPYING 101.

wb, all I can say is, trust your intuition. If I'd have done that, things would not have had a chance to spiral out of control. If OW'sH investigated earlier, well, same thing. Follow your gut. Gather evidence, but do it quietly. In the meantime, read up on the artiles here on Plan A. God I'm sorry for you. I hate this whole scene with a passion ...

I apreciate your support. I dont want to doubt my instincts. It has been said go with your gutt. I have not seen any communication since I confronted him but.....my husband is not working at the moment due to a work related injury so....I think all day maybe there is away around the emails and phome calls that I just have not get wind of yet. So I am very seriously thinking about the p.i. but need to gather funds to do so without causing alarm. I agree, the whole thing sticks.. we had a pact b/4 we got married that if one or the other finds themself in a position to cheet they are to tell the other. We have both been on the receiving end of this with prior relationships and I dont want to wake up one day with some STD..Out of respect lets be honest for god sake.

wb ... yeah I hear you. I, unfortunately, woke up with an STD. Mind you, I met my husband when I was 16. I never slept with anyone except him. And this is my reward.

It wasn't serious, but now I do have to constantly worry about HPV. I think I'll never get over this.

Go into Search and type in Spying 101. It will give you some ideas on what to do. If he's emailing, you can get a keylogger. I never did it, but there's info on the thread about it. All this may be more foot work, but a lot less $$. Also stuff about putting a GSP in the car, a recorder? I never did it. Didn't suspect until I got hit over the head with the news!!

WB, get a keylogger-You can download them and have them for a 3 day free trial so you don't have to pay for it-That way, you can gain access to his emails via getting his password and then find out for yourself-That is how I found out more about my H's EA-Also, check his cell phone records and see if there are any calls to her #-But on the flip side, it sounds like he is somewhat remorseful which is a good thing. Also, get into MC NOW!!!!!

by all means stay vigilant. but it is a good sign that he confessed right away, imo. My H was caught in the same lies and still denied and lied to my face. This caused horrible fights and now finally the internet affairs have ceased after almost 2 years of ******. But your wh's ow is local too, not good. Wish I could tell you more.. I just hate all this crap!!!

tell him you want a post nuptual agreement and a polygraph to prove his innocense.

wbctaz

After reading your post, I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I felt like I was reading part of my own sitch.
I can certainly sympathize with the panic you experienced. What an awful feeling!
My FWH also had an online EA which eventually turned into a PA. I installed e-blaster on the computer which gave me all the concrete evidence I needed.
I got access to all emails, IMs and passwords.
I certainly didn't like what I found and read, but as they say knowledge is power.
It was probably the best $100 I spent on the whole process.

The good new here, as the others have already expressed, is that he seems remorseful. But as also been stated, please stay vigilant and go with your gut!

Keep on posting.

MyBad
-----------------
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

That's a page out of my own history too. I found out 6 months after it supposely ended, and it went on for 2 1/2 YEARS .. I found chat logs hidden in the computer that would curl your hair.

I confronted him with it and he was busted. When I asked who "XXX" was, he said "just a friend"... so I started reading off some of the logs he'd kept and hidden on the computer and then he couldn't deny anything after that.

That was almost 10 years ago. I didn't know about MB but I exposed it to my family, his family and confronted OW by email.

At that point we were also on the verge of a major move, to a new country for him to start a new job - he was already working out of town. At that point I told him to choose - marriage or his affair. He chose the M.

We've since divorced - over other issues, including undiagnosed/untreated depression (which he sought treatment for AFTER we split...) I won't hijack your thread with my story - but in my heart it's not over yet no matter what the paperwork says - but time will tell if the situation is fixable or not... but that's another thread.

My H had his EA the entire time we were in MC and beyond. He sat there like a perfect husband and victim and laid the blame solely on me. I learned a LOT in MC which I am still applyling to my life. Too bad he didn't at the time.

Hoping your situation resolves - you've come to the right place for help and support.

JinGA

I thank you for your wonder support. I have purchased a key-logger so I can monitor everything. So far so good on that end but i have seen a few "Private" number on the home phone. I could not find Spying101 in the search. a GPS or babycame may be a good idea just to ease my mind further. I will be very watchful.
I think everyday just put one foot in front of the other and carry on.

You have gotten great advice already. Let me add, have you put any thought into what needs he may have been trying to get met through this? Is there some vacuum in your marriage that he was trying to fill elsewhere? These are questions that would be at the top of my short list.

Go to Radio Shack and get a tap for your phone. You can hide this on an extension phone and tape his calls. I bet they are talking on the land line.