I've been divorced a number of years and believe that I am ready to start dating some.

I work at a High School and most everyone is married, I don't socialize with these people much. I've looked at church and there isn't anyone there that I care to pursue or be pursued by. I've tried the bars, and the grocery store, nothing nada!

So I am looking for some other places in seeking a date, where you have found a date?

Dawn

Hello Dawn,

I have met some really great people on Yahoo Personals. Internet dating certainly isn't perfect but it does allow you to do some of the groundwork, i.e. learn a bit about the other person, see what they look like, etc., from the privacy and comfort of your own home.

Just an idea.

Try deep sea fishing. There's nothing like being the only woman on the boat with a bunch of men about your own age who want to help you bait your hook! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Ah, the $60,000 question...

I've also looked around at church and in the grocery store with no luck, then I met a guy at a funeral, but that didn't last, and I've tried on-line dating, unsuccessfully, at least so far. My experience is that few who are interested in me are interesting to me, and apparently vice versa. When there is mutual interest, we chat for a while and they disappear suddenly, or, ocasionally, we actually get to the point of meeting and there's no chemistry. Some seem to have better luck with this method though.

I haven't tried deep sea fishing yet, but I live pretty far from the ocean...

After teasing friends for doing the same, I'm now trying online dating. I think the results have a lot to do with what you expect. I didn't expect a whole lot and have been pleasantly surprised. Just be careful! If you do try online:

* Make sure you're profile (including picture) is as honest as possible. The point is not to get as many hits as possible but get the attention of a few you might actually like. Highlight your major interests and priorities.
* Don't post a picture that includes your children. I see even men doing this and I think it's just dangerous. It's enough to mention your children. They don't need to know what they look like.
* Expect a lot of weeding out just to find a few to email.
* Don't give out personal info and email before meeting.
* First meeting should always be in a public place.
* Go with your gut and don't settle for less than you deserve.

I've been on match for about a month. A lot of people lie about their age. I'm often sending rejections to men old enough to be my father. Also, sometimes you can just tell that all the guy is interested in is a one night stand. I had narrowed it down and was emailing about 10 guys. I met 4. One was a really nice guy but no chemistry. One I came up with an excuse to leave the date early. The other two I'm really interested in. Because of that, I emailed some of the remaining guys and told them since I didn't feel right ignoring or stringing them along. I got 1 nice and several ugly responses. I'm going to take time to get to know the two I met better, but I have no expectations.

If you do try online, just be prepared for the worst. Then you can safely enjoy the good.

BTW, I've notice that most of the guys I've been meeting are into biking or running near the lake when they are not working out in the athletic clubs. I'm thinking of buying a bicycle.

Also, it never hurts to throw some hints to a few select coaches or parents that have connections and could set you up on a blind date.

Some good ones that's for sure!!! I like the deep sea fishing thing, but hey I live in South Dakota and that just ain't gone happen!!!!!

I've played with the online dating a little, never gotten to the point of meeting, but continue to correspond with one.

Haven't tried the gym yet, so may have to do that one!

I don't know about the funeral, but hey I guess you could always cruise the obits in the paper!! I am kidding!!!!

I have two grandsons that I will be taking car of throughout the summer months and plan on spending time at the park and places of that nature, but that is usually a family place, so am not sure about that.

I have put the word out there and even offered up a reward if any of my students could come up with a date worth it for me!!!!

I am feeling a little desperate, I do not let it consume me by any means I am way to busy in life to let this get to me, I just would like someone to share things with again, I miss that! Doesn't seem fair the x is the one that did something wrong and he is the one that is rewarded with someone in his life!


So lets how creative we can get with where to meet a date!!! Where have you looked?

Dawn

I certainly dont' have the answer, but my theory is: do what you enjoy and you will meet someone compatible with you.
I ask friends if they know anyone. I've tried internet.
I realize I can't even date much since I counted I've been traveling 30 days this year so far, then adiing in when I have my kids, there is literally no time left.

I keep hoping I meet someone in an airport. Nothing better than sitting in a airport bar watching the slow speed LA car chase with perfect strangers.

Wow, Newly, I'm in the same boat. I've an 9 and almost 7 year old and travel a bit for work. And when I'm home, between baseball, softball and swim lessons, there is very little time.

I go to the gym 3/4 times a week, but have yet to meet anyone there, but then, I'm not really looking, didn't think of that!

I work out almost every day, but I go to Curves... not likely to meet anyone there!

fbwidow, I'm a little jealous of your on-line success. You go girl!

Dawn, I like that you offered your students a reward, that's pretty creative.

cyllanlisa,
How do you find time to work out? Between work and kids activities, and with yard work to do, formal exercise goes out the door. I did convince the girls that the Ethnic dancing lessons I drag them to is considered exercise (and I help teach so I'm exercising too). Then there's practicing for softball. And lest I forget, walking through airports while your flights are delayed.

I could use a date, but I can't even imagine when I'd work one in. Last week, my DD's counselor sat me down to tell me I needed to date. I should just get a sitter and go out.
Easy for her to say, she has a wife.

I've had great online success if you count M. Since its been 18 months, I think he counts.

One option is to do volunteer work where there are old people. Old people have time, and they spend a lot of it thinking about others. Figuring out who to set up with whom can become a sport, almost as good as bragging about grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

As for working out... I hear you, Newly. Guess what I started? I'm copying my younger daughter and when I'm watching TV I jump an imaginary rope. When I'm cooking dinner I do a Lucy & Ethel and jog around the kitchen. I'm only a couple of days into it, but I'm a little sore so it's working.

It seems to be about 5 2-5 minute sessions. Better than nothing. And heavens, the shore season is about to start.

Ok, so nursing homes may be an option, but I already volunteer with 3 different kids groups and at church so I don't have alot of time left, that is probably why Ihaven't mae it to the gym, but do get to walk or ride a bike when I take my students to PT each day as part of their ISS.

My kids keep saying Mr Right isn't going to find me sitting at home and I ask when is it that he would find me there anyways!!!!

Dawn

Oh, that's awfully progressive of her <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

AGG

I thought I was doing oh so well when I tried the online thing - I met a few fellas that were worth meeting - had a good time with them on the first initial coffee meeting - progressed to formal dates - made it to three dates with one guy that I liked a lot - on date #3, he drove me home, we had a nice kissing session in the car in my driveway - he told me he couldn't wait to see me the following weekend - and then POOF - he disappeared off the face of the earth - never heard from him again.....I decided that his behavior was inexcusable unless of course he died - but I will never know. I almost gave up after that one.....

I met T through a mutual friend blind date - I went to a fix up lunch kicking and screaming all the way - and it turned out OK.......so far......

Truly that is awesome and hopeful!!!!

Thanks, for Sharing!!!!

GoodGuy I wasn't going to comment on the "she has a wife" thing, I didn't figure it was typo!

Dawn

Newly, ex has the kids 2 nights during the week, so I go then, and the every other weekend. On occaision I can slip into the gym after work before I pick the kids up from daycare (if no traffic). My yard does suffer, though it is good enough.

Do you have a reliable sitter?

I haven't used a sitter to go out. I have to use sitters on my overnight business trips (since their father won't watch them), so I don't want to leave them any more. DD's counselor told me to get a sitter and go out.
I just realized that my next available day to go out on a date is June 2nd. Between work travel, girl scouts, church activities, it's hard. I emailed someone I've seen twice, and he said he's still interested, and June is OK. However, it's a hike to get into the city, and he doesn't get out.

They sneak up on you when you aren't looking! It's hard to relax but it's what works. I work out of my house, and stay home w/the kids. You'd think I would never meet anyone but I had plenty of dates until I decided to date one person exclusively (he was and still is, my best friend).

I have never met anyone I'd be interested in at a bar and have never tried online dating. I've never met anyone at church or the store either although I visit both regularly. My friends that do online dating have a great time but have yet to get serious with anyone they've met that way.

I do attend lots of cultural events and sporting events in our city. I have met several guys at small spectator events like bike races. In fact, at one bike race last summer, I met 3 men in about 2 hours. They were all nice with decent jobs, not cheaters or losers. I kept in touch w/2 of them. And no, I'm not a beauty queen. Not rich either. I am friendly though and I smile a lot. I think it's all in the way you treat people.

Good luck Daybreak. And don't forget Rule #1-have a good time!

sometimes you meet them right here in the dating after divorce forum... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

that's how i met gekko!

mlhb

Try a big-box home center (Lowes, Home Depot, etc.). If you're interested in gardening, hang around in the gardening center. If you're interested in a tradesman, go early in the morning. If you're interested in your average guy, try late morning to early afternoon. Pretend that you have a problem with some item at your home and ask for advice. Ask him something about an item that he might have in his cart in an effort to spark a conversation.