I cheated on my dh with a man I met off myspace. We talked awhile before meeting and when we met we clicked. Even my friends who have met him says it's plain to see I'm happy with him. More so than with my dh. I'm trying to work on my marriage for our 4 children. It's what is best for them. But I cant help but feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I love my husband but I'm not in love with him. I am not in love with this other man either but there is a strong attraction that could possibly lead to love in time.

This other man invitied me out after finals just to relax,talk and eat dinner. My husband knows I had an affair but he doenst know with whom. I will not tell him because he's not stable,and it's possible he would do something really bad. My husband hasnt brought up the affair or really been anything but nice since I told him. I thought he would react much worse but it's been pleasant which makes me nervous.

He is not even suspicious of me going out with my friends this weekend. I mean I know if he had cheated on me I wouldnt want him going anywhere with friends for a long time. I just dont know what to make of anything. I need help/advice on how to cut the ties and get over this other guy. I've done all of what i can do and its still not enough. thank you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Welcome to marriagebuilders. I'm so glad you found us before you made a worse mistake. The only way to get over the affair is to have no contact for any reason ever again with this man. Hate to say it, but he cares nothing about you and your children, or he would not have gotten involved with a married woman with 4 children.

Everyone who has an affair with emotional involvement feels the same as you - like their heart is being ripped out. But you will get over it. And if you have no contact, you can go on to have a wonderful marriage. That is the biggest blessing you can give your kids.

I hate it when I take my time to reply and nothing comes back! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I'm sorry I'm confused by your post. You replied? When? I havent seen it. It's finals week here so I've been busy studying, finishing up homework and caring for my 4 children.

Thank you for the replies. I buckled and talked to him today via IM. He wants me to come over and discuss things. Part of me wants to but another part of me know he's playing me for a sap. We will never be anything serious. He's going back to his home county in a little over a week. Plus, I've done some sneaking around via IM and he is "trying" to hook up with this fake screen name of mine. He's a player and I got played. I guess it serves me right but it was nice for a minute to feel like I wasnt so piece of crap. Right now I just feel worse. I want to crawl in a hole,and die some days. So Disgusted and sick to my stomach. Ughh. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

It would be best to have no more contact with him, and start working on your marriage. Stick with us, and keep posting and reading.