Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9
B
Junior Member
Junior Member
B Offline
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9
I cheated on my dh with a man I met off myspace. We talked awhile before meeting and when we met we clicked. Even my friends who have met him says it's plain to see I'm happy with him. More so than with my dh. I'm trying to work on my marriage for our 4 children. It's what is best for them. But I cant help but feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I love my husband but I'm not in love with him. I am not in love with this other man either but there is a strong attraction that could possibly lead to love in time.

This other man invitied me out after finals just to relax,talk and eat dinner. My husband knows I had an affair but he doenst know with whom. I will not tell him because he's not stable,and it's possible he would do something really bad. My husband hasnt brought up the affair or really been anything but nice since I told him. I thought he would react much worse but it's been pleasant which makes me nervous.

He is not even suspicious of me going out with my friends this weekend. I mean I know if he had cheated on me I wouldnt want him going anywhere with friends for a long time. I just dont know what to make of anything. I need help/advice on how to cut the ties and get over this other guy. I've done all of what i can do and its still not enough. thank you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Last edited by BellaBlue; 04/25/07 07:26 PM.
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Welcome to marriagebuilders. I'm so glad you found us before you made a worse mistake. The only way to get over the affair is to have no contact for any reason ever again with this man. Hate to say it, but he cares nothing about you and your children, or he would not have gotten involved with a married woman with 4 children.

Everyone who has an affair with emotional involvement feels the same as you - like their heart is being ripped out. But you will get over it. And if you have no contact, you can go on to have a wonderful marriage. That is the biggest blessing you can give your kids.

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,546
*
Member
Member
* Offline
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,546
I hate it when I take my time to reply and nothing comes back! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Last edited by *Blondblossom*; 04/27/07 03:06 PM.

Me-46yo + Husband-49yo
Met 1975/ Married 1980
H had 3 month affair/D-d January 2001
Grandparents since Dec.2005
Recovered and moving on and we're looking forward to the years ahead!
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9
B
Junior Member
Junior Member
B Offline
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9
Quote
I hate it when I take my time to reply and nothing comes back! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I'm sorry I'm confused by your post. You replied? When? I havent seen it. It's finals week here so I've been busy studying, finishing up homework and caring for my 4 children.

Thank you for the replies. I buckled and talked to him today via IM. He wants me to come over and discuss things. Part of me wants to but another part of me know he's playing me for a sap. We will never be anything serious. He's going back to his home county in a little over a week. Plus, I've done some sneaking around via IM and he is "trying" to hook up with this fake screen name of mine. He's a player and I got played. I guess it serves me right but it was nice for a minute to feel like I wasnt so piece of crap. Right now I just feel worse. I want to crawl in a hole,and die some days. So Disgusted and sick to my stomach. Ughh. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
It would be best to have no more contact with him, and start working on your marriage. Stick with us, and keep posting and reading.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 405 guests, and 41 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0