found out about my husb. affair when his appendix ruptured - in hosp. for 2 weeks, checked his voicemail so it goes. That was 3 months ago, the affair is over - she lives in another state, but they had been meeting when he goes on business trips - for the past 10 years. He doesn't seem to think it was any big deal and says he can barely remember the affair at all - they last got together last June, and were planning on meeting again feb/mar. He can't seem to understand why I am so blown away, depressed. we have been working on the survival,If I start crying, or have any emotional reaction, he gets defensive. If i ask questions, he gets defensive - by the by, he was addicted to internet porn, but I think we've re-established some sexual intimacy in our marriage and things to be getting better over all.

I am just at a loss as to how to communicate without having an explosion. Today is the 1st year anniversary of my mothers death, I was crying this am, sad, depressed, I knew I shouldn't have let him see me, my feelings are all jumbled up between all this tremendous loss I'm going through right now, how does one go on?

Although I think that you deserve a better man but I recommend you to read my signature. There's a clever tatic that a wife played to get her husband back and it is a true story. Hope it'll helps.

(((REX))) Sorry about your mom.
Honestly I think counseling would be the best thing. It sounds like your husband is not taking ownership for his affair. Try posting in general questions there is more traffic over there. Take Care

how do I move a posting?

I have to say I know exactly how you feel. The "it was nothing" the anger at you when you cry, when I cry I'm rubbing it in her face and just won't let it go and I'm being an [censored]. sigh... I've never cheated on anyone. So none of this makes sense to me. I mean ****** I have women that hit on me all the time at work and I'm nothing but polite and even refuse to have a lunch with them. It confuses me when someone did something wrong and explodes at the other person because of their reaction to what they did....

I'm sorry about your mom. *hugs*

You should be able to copy it from your original post then paste it to the GQII post. Good Luck!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />