Let me apologize in advance for the lengthy post.
I can't seem to find a message board to post about physical abuse, so I hope that maybe I can find some answers here.
My sister has been married for around 2 years. She married young to a man she didn't really know and who was from a completely different culture, and now a cycle of abuse and addiction has begun.
He is addicted to pornography and many of their early fights began with that (and understandably so). Over the last year, the fighting has been increasing in intensity and they have escalated to him abusing her physically (and probably emotionally, as well).
In the past, my sister would flee the situation and come stay with us. Then he would apologize and she would eventually go back with nothing changed. Anyone who is familiar with the cycle will probably understand exactly what is happening: the justification the victim tries to make for going back, the honeymoon period where everything is better again, the violence/abuse resurfaces, etc.
In any case, the last episode was more violent than any of the previous and my sister showed up on our doorstep around midnight in nothing but pajamas talking about how he had pushed her down the stairs, destroyed quite a few things in their home, etc. He had also made a death threat to her. She did file a police report and my parents came in to town immediately. They got some of her things when the husband was not home and relocated her to a family member's house where she will be safe and he will not know where she is at.
Here's the big problem. They were scheduled to go to Asia this next week for his dad's 60th birthday party (apparently a very big deal in his culture and his parents live over there). My sister is still planning on going despite all that has happened and I fear for her safety. She is leaving the country and will see him for the first time since their separation in another country!!!! What is strange to me is that my parents have agreed to go with her. I guess this is a slightly better alternative since they can help keep her safe - but still, they won't have any kind of safety net that they would have here. If there is a problem, there will not be other family, etc. to rely on for help. I think they are walking into a potentially dangerous situation. And furthermore, I think my sister will be more likely to back to him, starting the cycle again.
I need to find out if there are support groups for family members of domestic violence. I don't know how to handle this, but I think someone needs to intervene for her safety. If not, I at least need to know what my role should be in this and how to handle it. My husband tells me there is a support group for family members of alcoholics (like AA for family members of the alcoholic). I am hoping there is something similar for family members of domestic violence victims to help them learn how to deal with the situation.
I don't want to make the situation worse, but I do want to see help for her. Can anyone point me to a group, organization or literature? Thanks! And I would be happy to hear any advice you all have on the subject as well.
Thanks!!!
