I'm a Christian and currently lead worship for our youth group. I'm battling feelings of attraction to the youth pastor after he ranted and raved about how well I sang one night. That was several months ago.
I told my husband I was struggling with these feelings of attraction months ago. His response? "You can't run". He says that because I've had a history of attaching myself emotionally to pastors (specifically) who offer affirmation on my singing ability.
I've cried, begged, and pleaded with my husband for us to move on to another church and he just keeps saying, "no". These feelings of attraction are not going away. They're getting stronger and I don't know what to do about them.

Anyone relate?

So hurting....
-C358

Welcome. I'm so glad you found us. You need to be truthful with your husband, and let him know what is going on in your mind. Believe it or not, we see TONS of affairs happening here, even with Christians, and YES, pastors.

Hubby needs to realize that he must start meeting your emotional needs. And you should be meeting his. That is the way people stay in love.

My mind has been an open book with my husband. I've told him of the struggle. I've told him how I've grown an emotional attraction to this youth pastor. I've begged, cried, pleaded for us to go but he really feels like this church is where God wants us.
My husband, to his credit, IS really trying to meet my needs but this youth pastor is too much of a distraction in my process of freedom.
How can I convince my husband it's time to leave this church?
-C358

If your husband knows the truth and still doesn't want to leave the church, something is wrong. Any warm-blooded husband would realize that things are going south.

How has the marriage been up to now?

Sorry for responding so late.

Here's our history:
When we got married, there was a move involved for me and multiple other changes (new church, new city, new home, new job, etc.) I felt very abandoned by him when he had to go to work. I became very abusive. I would throw things, yell, and sometimes put him down. I was emotionally out of control. I look back now and I seriously think it traumatized him.
Anyway, the behavior eventually stopped and I learned to cope.

This youth pastor deposited so many words of affirmation into me that it just felt like I was drinking living water.

I know there are a lot of hurts in my husband.

Almost forgot....my husband has openly expressed that this youth pastor can be a "flirt" but that this is MY issue not the youth pastor's. He believes it's all in MY head and that the youth pastor is a faithful man that would never cheat on his wife.
I've shared with my husband every interaction I've had with this youth pastor....interactions in which I felt like the youth pastor has flirted with me and my husband STILL doesn't want to leave the church.
Is it bitterness that is keeping him there? Does he secretly want me to fail? Is he testing my love for him?

Whoa, I can't believe your H is not willing to DO SOMETHING about this. He is so blind to the blessing he has of an HONEST WIFE.

If you read Dr. Harley's books and study this site, the FIRST thing that must happen before recovering from an A is NO CONTACT. It truly is a testament to your integrity that you're so honest with your H about your feelings for this OM. Can you just not go to this church w/ your H? Go find another church to attend, and go by yourself if you have to. I don't know what else would get your H's attention besides telling him "honey, I'm giving in and am going to sleep w/ the youth pastor tonight, please come by the hotel to stop us!".

Will say a prayer for you, hang in there!

Thank you SadPunk.

I'm at a place where I'm resolving in my heart that maybe I do need to move on to a different church - with or without my husband. This decision has been hard to make because
1) I love my husband and want him next to me wherever I go.
2) I'm involved in the church and don't want to disappoint the youth I minister to weekly.
3) I have been taught that "submitting" to your husband is important and my husband is adament about staying.

In anger, I have told my husband that if this Youth Pastor touches me - I won't tell him - because he's never listened to me or believed me, but I was wrong for saying that, and have recanted. I believe honesty is the foundation to every relationship - without it, there is no trust.

Yes, Scripture does teach us how a family ought to function, with the H as the head, BUT, it also teaches us to flee temptation. As a Christian, I counsel you to flee this temptation that you are mature enough to realize is there.

You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders, and you know what the right thing to do is.

Have you learned about Love Busters here? Your comment to your H out of anger is one of them. Avoid them at all costs. It's also great that you recognized your mistake.

Please, find the Lord's strength to do the right thing, for He never allows us to be tempted w/o providing a way out.