Ive been in a Dark Plan B. Doing Well. The problem I'm going to have is my son is getting married on the 4th of May. Its not big formal wedding But there will be a professional photographer at the ceremony.

I guess I just need to know how to act around husband, hoping he doesnt bring the Ho, and having pictures taken with him will be emotional. I dont want to ruin this Day for my son, but need some support on what to do, How to Act!

I'm a lurker on here mostly dont post. But love this site and All the Helpful People.


BS 50
BH 54 (MLC?)
3 DS 29,26,24
M 30yrs
DD 7/21/06
Plan B 3/27/07 (Had enough of the Cake Eater) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

You do not have to have your photo taken with him. My mother and dad were not together in any of the pics at my wedding- and I told him not to bring his ow - I also walked myself down the aisle.

I am a wedding photographer and I shoot lots of pics were the parents are not together in the pics. Of course they are usually divorced, but you don't have to be in any pics together.

Your son and future dil should give the photographer a list of photos - their list should state Bride and Groom with Mother of the groom, Bride and Groom with Father of the groom, etc

When they do the seating have them seat you on the 2nd row, other relatives on the 3rd and your ws on the 4th - it is done all the time.

hope the day goes well for you.

Thanks for the advice MF. I will tell my son that I dont want to be pictured or seated by his Wayward Dad.

I told my son after he invited his dad, that he might bring his Ho, He said He wouldnt do that Mom. I said, You dont even know the man he is right now, dont be so sure he wont bring her. We will see.

You see since WH, left in July, he hasnt talked to the kids from July to December. Then In December talked and seen them long enough to give xmas presents. TO busy with his new life, or too guilty to face them! He used to be the Best Dad! Damn ALIEN! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

GottaP

BS 50
WH 54 (MLC?)
3 DS 29,26,24
M 30yrs
DD 7/21/06
Plan B 3/27/07 (Had enough of the Cake Eater)

Gotta,

I would suggest two things. #1, speak to your son and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you want to honor his wedding day and be there to celebrate for him and his new bride...but that you would PREFER to not have to take pictures or sit by WS. I'm POSITIVE that the photographer will take a pic with bride-groom-her mom and dad, bride-groom-his dad, and bride-groom-his mom. No sweat!

#2, no matter what ****** your WS pulls at your son's wedding, you determine in your heart today that you will act with dignity, decorum and civility. If he brings the Ho, it is okay to move to a place where you can not see "them" or ask son to seat them elsewhere. Do not create a scene, and if he TRIES to create a scene (like, "I will NOT MOVE! This is MY son's wedding too!") then you graciously give your son a way to save face. Yes, you may feel a bit cheated--as if the wayward got away with it and you did nothing wrong but had to pay the price--but years from now your son WILL remember which parent was a jerk and which parent made his day as stress-free as possible. Always take the high road whenever you can.

Finally, as a BS who is in Plan B, I would suggest that at the wedding you treat him exactly as you do now. Do not see him, do not talk to him, do not acknowledge the OP--just be yourself, be happy for your son, and do NOT allow the A to ruin this wonderful day for you as mother of the groom!!!

Congratulations!!!

Your faithful friend,


CJ

Gotta:

Just a thought beyond all the great advice that others have shared...

Could your son tell his dad that he and his bride do NOT WANT the ho at their wedding? That she is NOT WELCOME? Flat out, I mean...not just the whole, "Oh, mom, he wouldn't do that" kind of thing.

Since aliens are not fluent in social niceities, perhaps a 2x4 will do the job.

Good luck and I hope it is a wonderful, beautiful day for you, your sons, and your future DIL.

Lilsis

gottapost, I thought the same thing Sis did. Can you describe to your son what you are going through, and ask that he consider telling his father that the OW is not welcome....(as it IS a WEDDING, who brings their HO to a wedding to celebrate the bond of matrimony, meanwhile dancing all over his OWN vows with his HO---rant over, sorry)

CJ also has stellar advice! I would act like he is, quite literally, a doily or wall paper or some other inanimate object that many take no notice of.

I told my dad he could not bring his OW - took no prompting of my mother and I was only 18. It would not hurt to tell your son and dil to tell his dad no ho.