My wife did something yesterday that I took as being very insensitive. I don't know if I over-reacted or not or should I have been upset in the first place, but we needed to by some pampers for our child as the baby-sitter had run out, and she drove to a neighborhood grocery store that just so happended to be across the street from the pharmacy that the OM works. I had no idea she was going to go to that grocery store, I couldn't believe it, I was speechless when she parked the car and went into the store.......am I over-reacting? I went nuts last night, all of the old feelings of being betrayed that I had been working so hard to get over came rushing back and stayed with me all day, and by the time I got home it just all came out. My other question is this..........at what point do you begin to feel beat up by your spouse when they have those days when all the frustration comes pouring out verbally and how much is too much?

Was the store the closest store? Was it on the way to where you were going? Would it have been a little out the way or a longer trip to go some where else? If the answers to thes questions are yes. Then I think you may have been over reacting, but I can understand how you feel. There are alway going to be places that will set this thought into motion and we will have to deal with them the best we can until we can come to terms with all of this. I hope this helps a little bit. And for what it is worthI would have felt the same way. But just think about it and you will calm down.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Direct, personal attacks. Calling names, disrespectful judgements (i.e. you are so selfish, how could you go to THAT store). Keep in mind that no amount of questions, berating, punishing is going to stop your wife from doing what she wants, it will only drive her away. You two went to the store together (it sounds like), so I'm not understanding how she's trying to sneak in something.

FA,<P>My H needs to talk to you... he feels exactly like you do... for every 5 good days, at least one bad one comes rushing in for a reason as small as you describe to actually seeing the OM driving down the street.<P>How long has it been since the affair ended, how long did it go on??? Those kinds of questions matter here. It just takes time... lots of time!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>