Hi all,

I recently discovered that my H was having an A. H ended it w/ OW and we're working on rebuilding. I'm seeking advice from other BS. How do you avoid the land mines? You know, the small discoveries that I figure out on my own or questions that may lead to anger that send me into an emotional maelstorm.

Also, i'm trying to stick to questions for my H which will help me gain an understanding to the situation and avoiding questions that will only create a angry situation. But angry questions want to just pop out of my mouth. It's almost unbearable sometimes. More often than not I'm able to overcome this feeling but sometimes I can't.

Then, there's the impulse to snoop and dig for more info. Do I have to do this for the rest of the M. I don't want to live like this? If we're working for an open, transparent M can I look forward to a day when I won't want to snoop anymore. The other night when I couldn't sleep I stared at his cell phone and debated whether I should look at the text msg inbox. I finally walked away after 2 minutes of turmoil.

Finally, I wanted to ask how the **** people get a good night's sleep after this. I wake up after a fitful hour or 2 of sleep and the images and deceptions from the past couple of months invade my head. I lie there in anger and hurt. My H sometimes wakes up and will try and comfort me but it's terrible.

Any tips, suggestions, and general comments will be greatly appreciated : )