My H and I will be M 10 yrs in May. He's had two A that I know of. The last one ended three years ago next wk. It took me ages to work my way out of serious depression. Our M has plodded along. My H has two DS, both over 18. One lives with us. He works PT, doesn't pay rent, expects dinner on days he's not even been out of the house. Both my H and I work full time. SS GF is over often, and expects the same. Other SS moves from place to place, always insisting the LAST place he was is the best place he's ever been and needing to get out of where he is now. My H and I foot the bill...Here's the thing...I've had enough. The kids playing my H off their mother, my H off me, etc. is getting to me. When they were younger I cooked, cleaned, helped w/homework, listened to their woes. When I discovered my H's A I crashed and burned. I wasn't able to even wash a dish let alone keep the house clean, fix a dinner...One kid was out of school by then and the other moved in w/his mother and then dropped out shortly after (the move had nothing to do w/my H & I, but w/a promise his mother made that she wouldn't make him do homework or be accountable at school, that was the teachers job, not a parents according to her). Now, my H continues to allow these kids to come and go. They treat us like their personal money tree. They treat the house like a flop house. My H and I fight constantly over what to do. He says he's angry about the way they treat us, but that he will not do anything about it. When they need to be told to shape up, it's my job to tell them what needs do and to wear the fall out.
I barely got over his multiple A. When stressed I see that another A is a possibility for him. This kid issue is a major stress point (leading to a load of other issues, money, how to raise the kids - I feel they are raised). I feel myself starting to slip downward again...I think I need some help.
I would appreciate anyone else's POV here. Am a winner of the Evil Step Mother Award? Am I being to hard on the kids, and on my H? How do I readjust my thinking if that's the case?
Thanks
