Hi, My husband moved out a month ago. The emotional affair took place in Jan-feb 07 and ended in Feb. I check his cell phone bills, the history on the computer, and the girl has moved away. He has no other phone in his apartment other then his cell phone. So I don't believe he is inn contact with OW. He says that he feels like he is going to have a nervous breakdown and he needs some space. He is a manager at a very busy bodyshop. He is making some changes at work and tells me in two weeks he will have all the work stuff done and then he will focus on our relationship. His job runs him down big time. He has been depressed since he was 12 and had anxiety issues. He just started taking antidepress.meds and we have been going to MC since Jan. together but he now goes seperately. The MC thinks that my husband is sitting on the fence and needs to either commit to being single or commit to being married. When I suggested that we follow the MC instructions my husband said we will go see him next week after we get back from vaction. We are going to California on Sunday with our 6 year old daughter. I feel like he is using the vaction as a test. He will be in class all day for his job and then we will spend time together at night on vaction. Should I cut my husband off when we get home? He has admitted that I'm not his problem. He seems to be in a black hole. Even though he lives on his own he really doesn't go out much without me maybe once a week or twice and usually golfing. I'm confused. We go on dates twice a week once with our daughter and once without. Should I be spending this time with him? When do I tell him he needs to come home if we are going to be seeing each other all the time anyway? How long is enough time to give someone? He has never washed clothes before this or took care of himself and I think it's gettig old now. He says that he doesn't like the apartment but if that's the case then why doesn't he come home. He says that he misses me very badly and wants to have sex with me but he is respected what the MC says. My MC says that in his mine the marriage was the problem so he had to move or else I would of got to the piont where I would of kicked him out. What do I do now? How should I act on vaction? And we haven't had sex in 33 days since he moved because the MC said so. I'm losing it!

What makes you think the affair is over?

lovetrapp -

Please, before you do anything else, look up at the very top of this page. You will the words "Articles" and "Basic Concepts". Please go to those links and read all the information that is there.

We cannot help when you clearly have no concept of what MB is about. You need a Plan, but first you've got to understand what the MB plans are about. Those links will help explain them to you.

Although most folks agree that you should NOT have sex with a Wayward Spouse, "cutting your husband off" is not the solution to this. You must think much bigger and get an overall Plan.

So:
First, take a deep breath and calm down.

Second, read those links above.

Third, come back here and let us help you make a Plan
Mulan