My WH and I are currently trying to work things out. Things have been going ok, but not great. Yesterday, his landlord called and said that the rent for his trailer was due. I told him this this morning and I asked if he was going to still rent the trailer even though he is at home, and he said that he did not know that we would have to talk about it. I don't understand what he intentions are and feel if he is going to keep renting that trailer then I don't see how we are going to work things out.

Does anyone have an opinion on this?

Thanks,

JambearT, I don't know your history so I'm just going to guess that your husband wants to keep the trailer so that he has a place away from home that he can occasionally sneak to and screw OW? I would insist that if he wants to remain at home with his family, then he gets rid of the rental. The money could be put to much better use. TT

I am so sick of all this and I am ready to give up. He is ruining all the love I have left for him and I am just so tired of feeling this wey. I love him and I want this family to work, but I can not be the only one to do anything about it. I can not do this any more.

Jamb,

""and he said that he did not know that we would have to talk about it. ""

Oh, I think he knows all right!! The talking about it is to feed you some bullpoop reasons why he should keep it. And "we would" have to talk about it, so he can think up some of these reasons.

I think its time to either fish or cut bait. Tell him that in order for you to continue to keep trying to work on the M he has to let the trailer go to show good faith.

Is NC in place with the OW??

kirk

No, he is helping her son with go-cart racing and he uses that as an excuse to be involved. So, we had a talk yesterday and I had to let him go. I can not deal with all this any more. He has to figure out on his own whether he wants his family or whether he wants her and her son. It just disgusted me that he would do this to us. He is a completely different person now and I don't like this person he has become. I have to just focus on me and the kids now and let him figure out his own life. Hopefully, he will see that we are what he needs, but I have done everything I can to make him see that and I will continue to do that until I can't.

Is this the right thing to do? I don't know what to do now. He just doesn't get it.

Ok, I am ready to start Plan B, the only problem is that we own a business together and I am not sure how to handle that since I do the payroll and other account things. He left yesterday after I asked him not to have anything to do with OW. He helps her son race go-carts and he wants our son to race too. So, he wants me to bring our son to the races while he helps her son and her with her son's go-cart. It is sooo twisted. He is not willing to give up helping her son, so I told him to leave, but don't know how to handle the business thing and how to handle him taking our son to the races and have him be around her.

Some advice would be great here!!!

Can you do the payroll and accounting in a home office?

Simply do not allow him to take your son to the races. Put your foot down. If necessary, get with your attorney, file for a legal separation, and have a restraining order (or whatever it's called in your state) served preventing WH from exposing your son to OW or her family.

Jamb,

""I am not sure how to handle that since I do the payroll and other account things.""

To go totally dark and do the plan B right get him to hire a bookkeeper. Or get a payroll service for the payroll and tell Mario Andreti of the go carts IN YOUR PLAN B LETTER, to hire a payable/receivable part time person for the other accounting things.

Really sorry it came to this, but it is admirable that you did't hem or haw around about it, but gave him the boot. AND BY NO MEANS LET YOUR SON PLAY IN HIS GAME.

It is a very LAME to use her son as the reason to be with her. You did the right thing.

IMHO

kirk

Though I was not actually in Plan B long enough to need to do this, I had one intermediary set up for issues relating to the children, and named another for business issues.

The business intermediary was an officer in the corporation, so for me it would have worked better that way. If you are not incorporated, it would probably be simpler to have your regular intermediary handle everything.

If you can afford to let the work go, and make him hire outside help, that would be ideal. He would find out very quickly how much you were worth to him in dollars and cents, anyway. (The other values are likely to sink in more slowly.)

If you can't afford not to do the work, then you need to work in a location where you can have NC with him, and all important business issues go through the intermediary. All non-important business issues, he can take care of by his own sweet self.

Hope that at least helps you come up with some possibilities. It's hard no matter what, and a business together only makes it more complicated.

Can I do this legally? I would like to try this if I have to, but don't see how I can.