Hello Everybody!!

I see some of my old friends are still around-Lost Husband, Just Learning, Bramble Rose, new beginnings. Where is gnome de plume?

I dont know why, but I went back and read some of my posts back in 2001. Wow. Has anyone else done that? Brief update, no I did not go to Texas, as Richard asked me to stay. But refused marriage counseling, but thiings werent too bad, or so I thought. Six months later, he left. Went to Texas himself. No warning. Then, approx two months later while I was at work, mom was home with the kids during winter break, he suddenly showed up, physically assaulted my mother, and fled...With my children. Took some time, but I did track him down, and I've got two of my little ones back now. Oldest wanted to stay. She is 17, and a junior.

Yes, I did remarry. Great great guy. Married now 3 years now.

And, yes I HAVE Grown ALOT!! It's funny, its so hard to even recognize that person posting as me now. You all were so patient with me, and helped me grow so very very much. How is lfe treating everyone?

OK,

You have me stumped. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Who were you in 01? You recap sounds familiar but the old memory is NOT what it should have been.

So give me an update.

God Bless,

JL

Good Morning JL.

I was Learning As I Go. Husband was thick in an affair, in school, and I was trying to figure out if I should go back to Texas as his mother was offerring me a home. At last, Richard did ask me to stay after 6 months of a very difficult Plan A. Had ALOT of control issues, and now, rereading my posts, maturity issues as well. Was a former WS while he was deployed...Marriage did not last, we tried for about 3 years. He ended up leaving to Tx.

JL, I learned so much from you!! I cant believe how thick headed I was.

Dara

Dara,

I do recall your story very well. Isn't it amazing when we look back at things we thought and said? I look back to my 20's and some of my experiences then, and I did not have a clue.

But, you do realize the cool part don't you? You don't think or act that way now. It is really part of the process and the good news is that your process has worked well for you.

I hope you hang around abit. You have a lot of knowledge to impart to people here.

God Bless,

JL

Just Learning,

I have alot of knowledge to impart here? As big as my heart is, and the been there/been through that history, how may I be of help here? It does break my heart...to see so many people heartbroken, as I once was. However, not sure how to change hats, if you will and be of service as you are. I dont feel as if I have much solid wisdom to offer. I guess, I too easily idetify with what people are going through to effectively demonstrate a solid understanding of 'what to do when, or how to survive this'..

Please, do tell, your story JL. Go back if you can, and read my immature threads, (burying head in sand) and your infinite wisdom which truely assisted me to become the woman I am today...I adore my husband, and despite being not only the Ws but the Bs as well in my last mariage, I do feel complete absoloute trust and respect for the wholesomeness and sanctity of a vow before God. Never did before. This site, and mostly your advice, completely changed/altered my perspective on life.

Maybe, from this perspective, if you believe in fate/karma or what have you... due to a complete shift in the balance of giving/taking... now that I am a giver, I recieve oh so much more than words can ever describe. Sorry for the less than eloquent articulation, but its from the heart. JL, how did you get to be such an invaluble service to others, that, as for me, was life altering?

With Utmost Respect,

Dara

Dara,

You know more than you realize. You have learned far more than you think. As for me I just stumbled upon this site in Feb. of 99 when I was really down about my marriage. Reading the articles, reading the posts, if you recall it was only one site to post in those days, I learned, and I am still learning.

My only advantage was age. How could someone not help someone that was and is in as much pain as is seen here? How could someone not rejoice in the strength of those that come here? How could someone not enjoy the successes of those here?

These things are addictive Dara, but they are also rewarding.

You have a lot more to offer than you realize, yes I am saying it again.

I am happy that I had some small part to play in your recovery, but make no mistake about it. It was you and your H that did all of the heavy lifting and you both should be so proud.

God Bless,

JL

Thanks JL,

Well, being that I am remarried, I dont think Ken would be proud of my efforts with the exhusband. I have learned now that it is possible to enjoy the company of ones spouse. what a novel concept! More later

Dara

Dara,

You are right. It was late last night and didn't state that quite right did I? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

But, I think you should be proud of how you worked on this and grew. You did and have grown alot. It is odd, how more and more pieces of those posts are coming back to me.

I must go, but I was curious about your children. Are they doing well and happy?

God Bless,

JL

DARA!!!! Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You sound... WONDERFUL.... healed... and you know what? JL is right! (Isn't he always?) You have SO MUCH to offer! (How many !!'s can I have in one post? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

I LOVE to hear about people growing, learning and healing. It has been such a long personal journey for me... I'm not as good at it as I'd like to think... but this isn't about me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> It's about YOU...

... and YOU sound... FABULOUS!

Hey girl!!!!!!

I was waiting for to you to show, glad you are still here. How are you? Let me tell ya dear...you once said to a very immature hurting young woman, a phrase that still lives with me now...

"do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?"

I've missed ya guys.

The kids? Well, they have been througth ****** and back..literally. Richard molested my Sarah in Texas. Legal battle continues, Law Enforcement and CPS in Texas arent doing much, as oldest daughter, 17, accused Sarah of making it up. Daddy would never do that...Despite the fact that Sarah does shows signs of physical trauma upon exam, and knows a little too much about her father if you know what I mean.

Sorry...difficult, uncomfortable subject.

On the bright side....1. she told me 2. she is in couseling with the grande madame of childhood abuse, who writes the doctorate level books on counseling childhood victims of sexual assault 3 Her depression has lifted 4 she no longer blames herself 4 she is SAFE 5 Ken treats her as his own, loves her, she accepts him and calls him dad 6 and finally, she has a role model of how a father figure should treat a child, hope fully allowing her to grow up to trust men...7 she is safe and loved

Wow....

NB2, i am so excited to talk with you...How are you, how did things turn out for you?

Love

Dara

Dara,

I have two children who were sexually molested, as I was at nine years old, though not by family members... and I totally understand how freeing and healing growth beyond the abuse can be (and feel). Praise God for great therapy, too! I am so happy for your daughter, and for you, Mom, that you have a healthy home for your family!

My story has been extremely difficult, painful... yet... beautiful too, as my H is a gem among men. My children are grown and doing well, though I wish I was able to see them more often. I don't post a lot because as you probably remember, I met my H before the divorces were final and that's been... sigh... incredibly difficult to move past for me (once the dust settled and I realized how damaging it was not to heal myself before rebounding into another relationship and marriage)... and something that I believe has caused harm to some here at MB... so long story short on that, I don't post much. In fact, this is why I am now a "II" because I disabled new_beginning's original account. (I tend to ramble, remember? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)

But... my H and I will celebrate our 6th anniversary next month... and we've weathered so many storms we're waterlogged... LOL... we're good, that's what I'm saying. But it's been a very long, tiring and difficult road.

Oh gosh... it's just so GREAT to see you again, Dara... I've thought of you so often... and actually, someone else came along about a year ago and used a similiar name to yours... I was so disappointed it wasn't you!

NB2,


I remember the difficulty you faced here. Actually, I remember you were quite hard on yourself about this issue. I am sorry this has been hard on you, as you really made a deep impact in my life my dear. I simply dont understand how it could have caused pain to others here...

I too remarried rather quickly, while the ink was still wet if you ask my ex..Married only ~ a year after divorce was final. In all honesty, I really did not want to remarry.Ever. But, at the time, I knew I had a decision to make, as it was so very important to Ken to be married. I was (am) crazy about the guy. It has turned out well, fortunately. One of my biggest issues was being, well, a manipulative control freak. Its funny though. Despite doing ALOT of growing up, I believe alot of it had to do with the ex. (his name is not worthy here) Obviously he has mental issues ( I know who dosnt) but to do that to an 11 year old girl. There were some serious psych issues there, I know it.

Enough about me....6th anniverasry huh? Congratulations my dear. How are your children doing?

Love,

Dara

Hey Dara,

Just a quick note 'cause lunch is over and I only write before/after work or during lunch. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'll be back when I can and we'll catch up more, okay?

Many hugs, my friend... again, wonderful to "see" you!

Hey NB2,

Where'd ya go?

Dara

Dara,

She'll be back. She has limited access to the web. It is fun to listen in on your conversation though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

JL

PS: Are you still in the Pacific NW?

I'll be back at lunch, Dara! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> We cancelled the internet at home, which has been a true blessiing in organizing our time and energy. For me, especially, the internet had become an addiction.

I'm working and have internet access that I can use before or after hours and during lunch. So, I'm not totally cut-off, but limited. That's another blessing, unless I need more time to say what I want to say! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

One thing I wanted to mention about what you wrote is about "being hard on myself"... this is a life-long theme, and something I'm working on in my life... you certainly aren't the first to say it... but dang... I'd sure like you to be the last! I'm tired of being hard on myself... I want to be GOOD to myself!!!!

Anyway, work awaits... and I'm so pleased to have a job I love and get paid for it, too... that I must run.

Hugs!!

PS: Hi JL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <--- he like this one, Dara, so I use it whenever I can when talking to him! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Good Morning NB and JL...

Yes I am still in Washington State, dont think wild horses could drag me away at this point! Good Thinking about the internet thing. I myself am off work for awhile, and we are in the lovely process of moving presently. So, in my infinite wisdom, I turned off the cable. My rationale is that we are moving anyhow and we need to be packing instaed of watching American Idol and House!! Definitely causing withdrawl symptoms from spouse and teenage daughter! Unfortunatey she remembered the motherload of movies stored inside the jukebox....So NB what do you do?

Thanks for dropping in JL. Good for my ego to know ya care..lol. So, where is everyone else I remember? Sisyphus, gnome, Bramble, Lost husband...Still around?

Ken looked over my shoulder last night and was wondering. Why Are you there? So he read of the present post, and then I showed him one of the old ones. Didnt beleive it was me!! Funny I didnt either. Now I understand why people journal.

Well, thanks for keeping in touch.

With Love,

Dara

Bramble posts occasionally on General (here! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)... Gnome VERY occaionally in Divorce/Divorcing... Sis... I don't think posts anymore unless it's under some other name... and LostHusband... he's around sometimes in Divorce/Divorcing, but if my memory serves me, he remarried last year and is probably in Honeymoon Heaven...

You may want to call them out by using their name in the title... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />... let's see who shows up!