Time and pain are my best teachers - not my favorite teachers, but my BEST teachers. My favorite teachers are love and laughter, sunshine, blue skies with a few big boofy clouds scattered far apart, and mountains, and sunsets, and sunrises, and birds songs, people-created music and God' created music; but most of all, good friends, family, and Jesus.
When I spend all my time with my favorite teachers and no time with my best teachers, I tend to not appreciate birds singing, or baby giggles or the laughter and warmth of friends and loved ones close by - though I always notice those sounds among my blessings - I just don't FEEL them and pause to enjoy during the moments they happen.
Today I spent time with my best teachers as they lovingly tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Come be with us while we be with someone else who is suffering." A gentle rain fell on my face, the perfect gift to today to conceal tears. I smelled bouquets of roses, daisies, carnations, orchids, and flowers I'd never smelled before. My tears mingled with the tears of hundreds of others - friends who had not seen each other for a very long time - 18 months in fact... since the last funeral. Like I said, we spend too little time with our best teachers and ignore the blessings of friendship, neighbors, loved ones... and our ingratitude increases the difficulty of being with our best teachers during these times.
Each person here is spending time with their best teachers; either out of necessity - because we are losing something dear - or out of gratitude because we've found the blessing of being with these teachers - time and pain. Because with these two teachers comes love, self-respect, kindness and compassion for others, and wisdom.
Time marches right through our hearts - whether we appreciate the teacher or not - so we count the blessings and receive the gift. Though we'd rather stop time, and even turn time back, the gift of pain we don't want to receive is placed into our hands.
Someday - but not someday soon, the pain that time left in our hearts gives way to happy memories (bless the fact that they were made), and while rain mists upon our tear-stained cheeks, we smile at the song of a chickadee and a hint of sunshine - breaking through grey clouds and the memory of loved ones gone... while we learn from Time.
Cafe Plan B link
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?
The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"
If you're
interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're
committed, you'll accept no excuses.
