HI I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 7 YEARS IN JUNE AND THIS IS MY SECOND MARRIAGE. WE EACH HAVE 2 CHILDREN AND NONE TOGETHER. MY 18 YEAR OLD LIVES AT HOME WITH US. MY MARRIAGE IS FALLING APART AND JUST TODAY MY HUSBAND LEFTED A VOICE MSG ON MY CELL PHONE THAT HE WAS MOVING OUT AND HE SAID THAT I SHOULD OF BEEN PUTTING MONEY ASIDE BECAUSE I SHOULD OF SEEN THIS COMING. EVERYTHING SOMETHING GOES WRONG OR HE IS NOT GETTING ENOUGH SEX HE WANTS OUT. WHEN I TOOK MY VOWS I MEANT THEM FOR BETTER OR WORSE. OUR MARRIAGE HAS BEEN ROCKY JUST IN THE PAST 2 YEARS HE REALLY PUTS ME DOWN ALL THE TIME HE NEVER HAS ANYTHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABOUT ME ALL HE DOES IS PUT ME DOWN. I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HIM I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB SO I HELP WITH THE INCOME AS WELL. HE IS THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT HE HAS TO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON IN THE HOUSE I MEAN EVERYTHING. HE DOES WORK OUT OF TOWN AND IS GONE THROUGH THE WEEK. HE THINKS THAT I SHOULD TELL HIM EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID IN THE HOUSE WHEN HE GETS HOME HE WILL WALK IN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HE CHECKS THE PHONE TO SEE WHO HAS CALLED. HE CHECKS THE REFRIGATOR TO SEE WHAT I HAVE BOUGHT AT THE STORE AND THEN ASK ME WHY I WENT TO THE STORE. HE CHECKS THE BACK YARD FOR ANYTHING THAT HAS BEEN MOVED. HE HAS 2 CHILDREN FROM HIS 1ST MARRIAGE THE AE 24 AND 17. WHEN ONE OF HIS KIDS CALL HIM HE WILL GO OUT SIDE TO TALK TO THEM AND THEN WILL NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE CONVERSATION. BUT IF MY FRIEND CALLS OR MY DAUGHTER CALLS HE WILL ASK WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THEM HE CURSES MY MOM FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING HE HAS CALLED BOTH OF MY GIRLS THE B WORD NOT TO THEM BUT TO ME WE HAVE SEPERATE BANK ACCOUNTS BECAUSE HE SAYS HE DONT WANT ME TO SPEND HIS MONEY WE PAY SEPERATE BILLS IN THE HOUSEHOLD. I JUST RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS PREGANT AND HE CALLED ME EVERY NAME BUT WHITE. THIS IS NOT HIS CHILD. AND HE TALKED SO BAD ABOUT ME TELLING ME I AM A BAD MOM AND HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN ETC. HE DOES NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING THAT GOES ON IN HIS LIFE HE KEEPS IT ALLA SECRET BUT YET HE WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME I DONT UNDDERSTAND THIS I DONT HAVE NO WHERE TO MOVE TO I DONT TAK TO MY MOM BECAUSE OF HIM ME AND MY DAUGHTER REALLY NEED A PLACE TO GO I DONT HAVE THE MONEY TO MOVE OUT AND I CANT AFFORD TO LIVE IN THE HOUSE WE ARE LIVING IN NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

MARRIAGE multiple choice
	MARRIAGE HELP
	MARRIAGE DISOLVING
Votes accepted starting: 05/07/07 12:57 PM
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Welcome to MB.

I didn't vote in the poll .. I have some questions first.

Just for your info, typing in all CAPS is difficult to read and is perceived as shouting. I'm sure that wasn't your intention - just a respectful word of "netiquette".

Your main complaint seems to be that he is controlling. VERY controlling. That's a red flag for a few reasons.

If you have no privacy and he apparently doesn't trust you - if you've not given him a reason not to trust, it's probably because he doesn't trust *himself*. Could he be carrying on something behind your back on his out-of-town jobs?

Often when a spouse is wayward, they turn it all back on the betrayed spouse, make it "their fault" so they don't have to be accountable for what they do themselves. All that you've told here is a red flag.

If he's that controlling, are you sure you want to stay with him?

A marriage can only survive if both parties decide to save it. Sounds like a lot of changes need to come about if that is to happen.

If you haven't read the articles on this site, please read them. Your best bet is to implement Plan A immediately and go from there.

Good luck on your journey.

JinGA