Ok, my ex left the state over a year ago. Before that he rarely saw his boy for a year, maybe every 3-4 months but after he left I filed for divorce and he's been showing up every 2-3 weeks flying/driving whatever to see his son. I moved the divorce case to my new county, I moved too a year ago. Anyways I was about to proceed with the divorce then I had another thought, what if I cancil it, I'd have to file a motion to dismiss the case - I think he'd have to agree. Then move to my home state to be near my mom. I've run a business here in this state since I was 23, I haven't had a job since then so I'm basically "unemployable" but I've thought of changing careers and going into nursing as that's how I worked my way through college as a nurse's aide. I enjoyed it and I'm in a selfish business all about money. I'm burnt out, I've done it so long and it requires travel so when my boy is in school - I only have two years left - I don't know what I'll do as it'll be hard to travel a week every month. I could hire a nanny true. My life is my boy and I'm feeling burnt out anyways. My mom said I could rent a place near her or even live with her, she's gone half the year in sunny California at her winter home anyways so I might be able to make it through two years of school with my mom helping with my boy and by the time he's in school I'd have something else to do... I used to love running a company, when I was pregnant a friend said that it all changes with children. I tried and tried to hang on - part of my marriage problems I'm sure as I drug my boy with me all over the state expanding my business to prove my point - I don't know... just wondering, I could cancil the divorce, even if I have to pretend to want to reconcile to get him to agree to canciling it. And I could take off to my home state. Could he stop me if we are just seperated? Tell me, as I'm half tempted to go. Even my current business I could "maintain" but not expand from states away. And my mom could watch my boy while I travel even every other month back here... I don't travel much anymore anyways at the least I could travel one week every other month and still make over 50k working at home every other month. Thoughts?

if i were you i would not leave the state.
i know you are going through many emotions right now but you need to sit down, stop and breathe, and come up with a solid one year plan for yourself. i think that should include staying put for now, getting the divorce DONE with custody clearly outlined. THEN you can decided what you want to do and where you want to go.

you will give your ex ammo if you keep moving, especially a move out of state. it will show you as unstable. i know it is not fair but it is the truth. and, taking children across state lines without the other parents consent can be considered kidnapping.

mlhb

Yes my mom says the same, I need to stay put, get this divorce over with and look as stable as I can.

A shrink said I'm in fight or flight mode and I need to calm down.

Yikes I just found some answers to someonen who asked about this on another divorce site. People responded that moving could backfire and the woman could lose her child, her ex could file in another state too and make her travel there. Someone said I could file a motion during a divorce asking to move... I already moved once, moved this divorce to a new county. I don't think I have a choice but to stay and finish this.


It is not true that your husband cannot connot contest it, because you cannot file anything in your new state until you have reached the residency requirements. He may not do anything. He may file for divorce in his state which would cause a big problem with you as his state would have jurisdiction so you will have to fly to his state, or hire an attorney to represent you, for all proceedings.

Even though he wasnt the greatest husband, you migth irritate a judge by getting up and moving so far away with the kids. That can backfire.

So, if you want to move and hope and pray he doesnt file anything until you meet the residency requirements of your new state (most are 6 months) you can do that but if he files before you, that will work to his advantage.

Moving the kids that far away is a terrible idea without court permission.

You should file for divorce and ask for permission to move.

Dad can also file for divorce while you are on the west coast and you might have to bring the kids back, or turn over custody.


I would do this right. File for divorce and ask to relocate but I will warn you, your possible relocation can be a factor on who gets custody.

I'm thinking of leaving again. Divorce wasn't proceeded on and was dismissed. My ex is in another state. Neighbor said I could leave to my home state right now - this is the time. I cracked my ex's email and he told brother when I "settle" in a town he's going to move back tot my current state job or not. So neighbor who went through a divorce with a similar narccist crazy ex husband said she wished she'd done it differently. My ex has been gone almost two years, he's only showing up once a month now to see his boy after trying to do every two weeks for a year. He said he wanted to "reconcile" and let the divorce "go" but the neighbor is right, he could file on me since it's likely been dismissed for no action. Then I couldn't leave once again. If there's no divorce on file and no custody agreement I believe I can leave. It would take me six months to establish residency in my home state but what could he do if he's already in another state at this point? I gave my two week notice to move my rental, put money down on a new house but would have to do a year contract and from what he was emailing his brother if he moved here this would mean I'd be STUCK in a town I dont' like a whole lot - without family or friends until my boy, now three, is 18 or more!!! His ex attorney told him that, he could move here and I'd never be able to move from the county. So i'm thinking of doing this, moving in the next few days, emailing him that he didn't pay enough child support, didn't see the boy lately and I had no family here anyways. Since he's out of state he can fly to my homestate or drive just as easily as here - then HIT THE ROAD RUNNING with a uhaul and my boy, do not check email or phone, do not pass go....

About three months ago my boy came back from a hotel with his dad saying daddy pushed me off the bed. He had a bruise and a cut. This man used to push me off beds! Before I left him 2-1/2 years ago I called the police and he pleaded guilty to domestic violence. Then I flagged a cop down about my boy's bruise, of course they couldn't prove it and I was in a mess for turning it in. But neighbor might be right, I could say I was afraid, needed support and could leave. IF I moved to my homestate I'd have my mom, friends from school, church etc and support. He'd have no one. He encouraged me to move, yes within a two hour range of where I am - where there' many cities and he'd have friend s and could get a job. He has a great 100k per year job now, won't leave I don't predict unless I start to threaten him - or file again, he could move in the middle of new proceedings as he told his bro.

I don't think he'd ever, ever expect I've move to another state because of my business. But I do business mostly online and by phone. I could fly back and forth when I need to. I'd get free rent with my mom, plus she's gone half the year so I'd have her huge house to my boy and myself. I need to go QUICK if this woman is right. IF the divorce is OFF he could REFILE if he knew I was thinking of leaving, in this town.... HELP

Just do something. Limbo isn't working for you.