I pity the future archeologists that have to grid off and uncover her room with spoons and toothbrushes. Of course they will find a lot of spoons and toothbrushes there too. And dishes, forks, nail polish, scissors, (what do they do with all the scissors?) toe nail clippers, glasses, stuffed animals, socks, old yearbooks, candles etc.

Their conclusion will be that people of the early 21st Century really were savages who collected and worshiped shiny trinkets.

Wow, two days before our big Thanksgiving D-Day first anniversary Wayzilla tries to make contact.

Tomorrow is Wayzilla’s birthday and is the one year anniversary of my being convinced of the affair. Two days later on Thanksgiving I confronted her with what information I had. The Wednesday between those days last year was easily the worst and most surreal day of my entire life. I spent much of it scrambling around the house like a deranged animal snooping into every nook and cranny. It had to be pretty.

This is the first contact since a couple of emails from her in July that generally ran, “When is the refinance going to be done and how much money do I get?”

So what did it say?


So I checked our Cingular account and guess what? I have no record of her leaving messages on DD’s phone. Maybe she is calling and getting no answer, but she is not leaving messages. What I did see was a single 5 minute call last Wednesday over the past 10 days. And that call was made by DD. There is a notable decrease in calls since the Friday night in October when they went out to dinner and Wayzilla suggested it was time for DD to meet Gollum.

So I sense from this email that she is again placing blame on DD or me or both of us for this lack of contact. Or, of course, the off the wall possibility that DD has lost her phone.
But it certainly has nothing to do with her or her choices.

Now seriously, she did not have to contact me with this and if she really wanted to get a hold of DD she could step it up a little in determination. So why did she contact me?

I will give DD the email tonight. Wayzilla will not get a reply from me.

But IF I DID………:



Basketball is going great. Last night DD19.934 and I were both running practices in the high school gym and got to close it all down together. We both commented on how cool that was. Man, have we come a long way in these past few months.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.

I love the reply!

I love hearing that you and DD are so close. It really is such a wonderful thing.

Happy Turkey day to you, too!

DD has become a seriously classy lady. You done good Pops.

Hope your new Thanksgiving tradition with the new gang is a blast. Tell all ole BC is thinking of them and wishing them the happiest of holidays.

Talk to yall soon.

Holy Cow a Drive By Posting!

Good to hear from you BC!

I have been meaning to ask how long it takes to thaw and cook a gator?

I am trying to figure out how to get the time off to visit the swamp next spring.

I still would love to pull the trigger on my email reply to WayZ but I think I need to edit it a little to add some sarcasm.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and DS!

Hey, chris!

Still a bit on the wayward side, isn't she? (I can do sarcasm, too!)

Glad to hear that you and DD19.934 are doing well. We miss your wit!

Any snow down your way yet? We got about 6 inches in the lower elevations yesterday and over a foot in the mountains. 'Tis the season, I guess. I just wish it would stay off the roads!

Take care, tell DD19.934 hi - this year is better, isn't it? Did you ever think in the midst of these events last year that you would be okay now?

Fox

chrisner,

The first holiday season apart is the hardest. Your WS has spent the last 20+ years with you and DD during the holidays. Your WS wasn't thinking about these things when she left you for OM. Now she is lonely on the holidays. Something is missing. I think this will be a hard time for her. I think this is a time when many WSs in plan B question their decisions for the first time. I know that I'm holding out hope for other members here that their WSs will be shook up enough by the holidays to agree to their BS's PBL conditions. Jayban is one case in particular.

Great that you and DD19.934 are doing so well. Sorry that Wayzilla is something that DD19.934 will have to deal with for, um, a long time.

So sad. Wayzilla is still very foggy, it sounds like. "Thanks for your time." She probably thinks she's being extremely considerate. It sounds like something the SCQ would say.

Chris,

I am sure it felt good to compose that response to Wayzilla! A good dose of sarcasm speaks to my soul! Yet, we all know that Wayzilla wouldn't 'get' it in any way, shape or form.

Everyone is right, DD19.934 is amazing and as BC said, you have most certainly done good! And continue to do so!

Hey, be sure to share that gator recipe when you get it.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

DD19.936 and I went to BW3 after practice last night. Wings (us) a Bud (me) and a Doc Pepper (her). There was lots of Bball talk and sketches of plays and drills on napkins. The place was packed and in all there were six high school girls there that I have coached over the years. One was one of the waitresses. They all came by the table to say hi and catch up a little. That was cool.

I gave DD the email from her Mom and she just sighed. She got a version of the same email and as a bonus she got a guilt dripping email from XMIL too.

To paraphrase the highlights of the over long XMIL email:

-You should be at her Mom’s birthday bash today and they are disappointed she is not going. Of course last year Wayzilla did not come home for her birthday as she was rutting with Gollum.


-You have a grudge and grudges are not good and you need to get over it.


-They all still have “some” feelings for her father because he was part of their life for so many years but he has made that difficult due to his decision to “cut us all out of his life.”


- She recalls all the good times they had with DD and her Mom and “at times with your Dad”. (That is an exact quote)


- “Change happens” and although some changes bring sadness (me) they can also bring “goodness and happiness” (yes, that is a quote too) and she needs to reconnect with her mother to see the happiness. Yep, that’s right.



DD was pissed. I told her again she needs to do whatever she wants to this holiday season. If she would prefer to be with friends than with either of us I understand and think she should. She said in no uncertain terms that she was with me so we could “get through this first year together.”

So Jim, looks like you are spot on with how infidels and their enablers handle the holidays. I am sure it will get thicker as Christmas approaches.

Anyhow, Happy Thanksgiving all you MBers fighting the good fight!

RRRRRRRRR, [email]d@mnit![/email] I would love to slap that old broad right across her face standing in for her [censored]!

What a piece of work; what shameful behavior, guilt tripping her grandchild. Who's the child here?

I know conflict avoidance is in DD19.936's nature, but I have a hard time stomaching her just taking this crap. I guess one shouldn't engage a bully. I'm just livid! I feel for you guys, I really do. This is just horrible.

Affairs just keep on giving...

We all know how well I've dealt with my anger lately, so just take this as a rant, not advice.


(((((Chrisner & DD19.936)))))

Hey SL, thanks for the thoughts. I hope you feel better soon.

In reality I have had little to no reaction at all to either email. Probably not true for DD.

It is interesting that a vocal Old Testament Bible thumper like my XMIL would refer to divorce by adultery as “changes happen.” I can quite imagine the response would be very different if I were the wayward spouse and initiated the divorce.

And furthermore she goes on to say that the changes that happen in divorce by adultery are often good and bring happiness, and indicates that this is precisely the case for Wayzilla.

The email literally eludes that DD is in the sad and angry cave that her father has built and she needs to come out to the “goodness and happiness” that her Mother’s adultery has delivered. Incredible.

In the email I can see that she is doing the same marital history revision that waywards do. Waywards do it to rationalize and justify their betrayal that they know is wrong. She is doing it to rationalize and justify her betrayal of her Church and life long vocalized beliefs. And she has done this for two of her children over the past year. I wonder what she prays for?

One more for the shovel list.

I'm with SL--that email is enormously triggering. WARNING: Rant ahead!

Dear Grandzilla,

I respect your opinions, and thank you for sharing them with me. My opinion is that the choices that my mother has made are morally reprehensible. I scarcely recognize the person that she has become because of those choices, and to be blunt I really don't like spending time with her now. She has made her choices, and I am entitled to mine. If either you or she have a problem with this, then you can place the blame squarely on the choices that she has made.

Love,

DD19.936

Or you could load one up with sarcasm, too. It would probably have just as much impact.

Pass along my best to DD. She's a great girl and deserves better.

Excuse me while I vomit.

I find myself wanting to type, "How could she?!?!" but then...

Oh, yeah.

This is MB, after all...the place where we can all recount stories of people (primarily waywards and their parents) who formerly held us in the highest regard...who now treat us like [censored], excusing and rationalizing all sorts of horrific behavior.

Forget the shovel (unless it is intended to be used for its intended purpose of mucking out the barn where those animals live). XMIL needs to be thumped by her own Bible.

Sigh. It wouldn't do any good, either. Unbelievable.

Poor DD. Truly...what an awful thing to have to deal with.

I hope the two of you enjoy the weekend and make some new traditions.

I have to hand it to my dad that he never tried to guilt trip me into visiting him or have me be upset that he was shacked up with the mistress (which ended when he cheated on her, the only time I ever supported infidelity).

I believe your DD should send the response that SD suggests. They probably believe you're the one that's making DD feel this way. I reacted the same way with my mom. I stuck by her side as she worked through the transition and the pain and there was no real improvement to the relationship with my dad until the mistress was gone.

It's tough as an adult child since you remember the good times and the family you grew up in. That never leaves you as a child, even as an adult. I still view my parent's situation as tragic, but accept that they have separate lives now and are happy. Your DD will probably hang on to this anger for a while, certainly as long as Gollum is in the equation. He will forever be a source of scorn for her and someone she will never accept.

I told my father that his mistress could start floating in air, performing miracles, and grow a halo around her head and I'd still never accept her or meet her. That was YEARS after the D.

I still feel that way. Your DD will feel that way forever as well.

Take care and happy holidays. You and your daughter have each other and that's really all a father needs. I have mine and I'm very happy to keep them as the focus of my life for years to come.

We had a really great Thanksgiving. It was a great dinner with a few friends including a couple of DD19.950 friends who spent Wednesday night and helped all over the place. We laughed for hours. A few months ago I never would have thought I would do anything for these holidays. It was really teriffic.

Saturday I had basketball scrimmages all morning and the boys looked pretty good. Well, at least not horrible and we have a looooong way to go. But I believed we were the best freshman team of the six teams at the scrimmage and my head coach got a call from two of the other coaches who were there and they said the same.

On Saturday afternoon I strung and put the tree up while DD was shopping. I was hoping we could put the ornaments on that evening together. I knew that when Wayzilla picked up the stuff she wanted from the house last March she left the Christmas ornament boxes alone so I thought she wanted to start fresh and left all our old stuff behind. Wrong.

When I opened the boxes there was nothing there but a pile of crap, a few of “my” ornaments and the dated ornaments we bought for the first few years of our marriage. Prominently displayed at the top of the box by itself, as if left as some twisted little time bomb, was the very first ornament we bought for our first Christmas, 1981.

Then I realized what she had done; she packed everything she was going to take when we took the tree down last New Years Day and stashed them. This was a full month before she left. Sneaky little wayward! I wonder if she ever cackled ala the WWW about how clever she is and how gullible I was.

So I completely filled a trash bag with the crap and when I was done had a grand total of 8 ornaments to put on the tree. Sunday I opened up the wallet (again) and went a couple places to start all over again fresh. We finished decorating it Sunday night and it looks nice. Fresh starts are good.

While DD was out Saturday she took a call from her Mom who was down in Mordor with Gollum. DD said WayZ sounded “All giddy like a middle school girl with a crush.”

Wayzilla told her, “We have to get together next week. I have had a really good week. I have something real important to tell you.”

DD had immediate thoughts on what this would be and is just sick. She has so far passed on any immediate time for them to get together. She says she does not want to know. This does sort of fit with the email from Grandzilla.

As the topic of these “We need to talk in person” things are usually about death, pregnancy, divorce and marriage, the giddy spayed and single Wayzilla has only one topic left on that list. Somehow I doubt she would use this meeting to announce that she is getting a puppy, so……….

Yuck and double-yuck. Yuck cubed.

I'm so sorry for DD.

Is Wayzilla That clueless? Wow. Boggles the mind.

Hey, chris, glad to hear you had a good Thanksgiving. Amazing what a year can do isn't it?

How low can Wayzilla go? Snagging all the Christmas ornaments. I'm sure she was disappointed she couldn't stick DD19.950 in a box to take.

She may have actually done you a favor - who needs the triggers?

And won't Wayzilla's tree be lovely with all the ornaments from Wayzilla's marriage hung on it? That'll be a dig towards Gollum that she probably didn't intend or recognize.

This year may just be news of marriage, next year could be news of divorce. Or it could be a new house - out of the way of bulldozers.

Maybe Karma is a bulldozer and not a bus.......

How's the dark side of Pluto doin'?

Give a shout out to DD19.950.

Fox

Hey SD and Cowgirl!

If it was not for the very real hurt all this causes DD, this whole thing would make a very tacky, critically lauded reality series that no one would admit to watching.

A Wayzilla/Gollum wedding spectacular?

Maybe we are wrong. For DD’s sake I hope we are. Maybe it’s just drama and pot stirring for the holidays. I guess we will know soon.

Certainly no matter what is going on, the prediction of waywards sniffing around for contact around the holidays is spot on. It’s like gum on your shoe that won’t scrape off.

Howdy, Chris.

Good to hear that you have started new traditions; ain't it grand!

And, about WZ and her giddiness...BLECH!!!

If I were DD19.950, I would AVOID THE NOID!!! They are relationship crushers!